If you decide to pursue ADHD Coaching as part of your holistic treatment plan for your ADHD, you can anticipate it will help you effectively manage your ADHD in many ways.
Inevitably, though, you will also find it challenging at times to stick with it. At some point you might even question why you decided to do it! And you may even be tempted to quit coaching before you have reached your most intensive goals. These are common responses.
After all making changes is not easy! It makes sense that you would have doubts in the course of your coaching journey.
But, if you know in advance about the misgiving you might have along the way, you can be more prepared to address them in order to persist when you just might be tempted to give up.
Do It When You Are Ready
Following up on someone’s suggestion is fine, of course. And, after doing your own due diligence you also decide ADHD Coaching is the kind of support you want and need right now to reach your goals, that’s great.
But, if you are thinking of engaging in ADHD Coaching only because someone else thinks you should, consider whether it is really worth the time, effort and money you will need to invest.
Because, as you might guess, coaching is not very successful for people who are not genuinely vested in doing the work that is required to make the changes they say they want in their life.
- Do I want to collaborate with a coach and do the necessary work to reach my goals?
- Am I committing to this for my sake, rather than my spouse’s or boss’s?
- Am I engaging the services of a coach because I believe in the process?
If you answer affirmatively to all of these, than ADHD Coaching might be right for you.
But if you are deciding to do this because someone else wants you to, wait. Do it when you are ready. It will definitely be a better investment of your time and money.
Understand the Difference Between Simple and Easy
When you do decide to work with a coach many of the ideas you will come up with together might sound quite simple.
For example, if you are often late for meetings, you might devise a system that looks something like this:
- have materials ready for your meeting before starting on task “A”
- set a timer
- stop task “A” 15 minutes before you need to leave for the meeting
- write a note so you know where you left off on task “A”
- go to meeting
Sounds simple, right? It is! And you may have already thought of some variation of this. Yet, you are still late for meetings.
One reason may be that, as an adult with ADHD, you do not currently have the necessary skills and strategies. Consider all of the executive functions needed to execute the above plan.
You need to
- remember to do all the steps
- plan and organize what you need for the meeting
- stop and transition between activities
- resist the impulse to do one more thing before you leave for the meeting
- and maybe regulate your emotions around the tasks and meeting
But you have challenges in some or all of these areas because of your ADHD, making it harder to follow through on what appears to be a simple plan.
Understanding what you need to do to create the changes you want is the easy part.
Actually changing your behavior and sustaining the changes over the long haul, well, that is not so easy. You will need to do a lot of “muscle building” to address your challenges before it can be easier.
It definitely can get easier, though!
Remind Yourself It Takes Time
How many times have you heard it takes time to make changes in your life? Lots, I bet! So, I know you are aware this process will take time, too.
But once you make the hard decision to invest your time, energy and money in coaching you want things to get better. Now! Who wouldn’t?
Yet, even though you know it will take time, you may still at some level be “overly optimistic” that with the help of your coach you will be “whipped into shape” in no time. So, when the changes you want do not happen quickly, you may begin to doubt the efficacy of coaching and/or your ability to create changes in your life.
To counteract this:
- be aware that this underlying feeling may arise for you at some point
- acknowledge that you have been behaving in the way you have for a long time
- remind yourself it will take time to unlearn old behaviors that do not serve you and learn new behaviors
Frequently reminding yourself of this will help you internalize the mindset and foster your willingness to persist when your efforts do not quickly yield the results you want.
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway. ~ Earl Nightingale
The question to ask yourself is, “How do I want to pass my time?”
Know The Timing Will Not Be Perfect
When you decide to start coaching you are at a point where you just don’t want to continue operating the way you are. You want your life to be better.
At the same time, if you are like many of the busy professionals and executives I work with, your plate is overflowing. So, it is not always convenient to fit the coaching sessions and work into your already busy schedule. But you do.
Because you believe in the long run this will make things better, easier and even save you time.
Then somewhere along the way you may start thinking, “I don’t have time for this right now. I have too much to do! Maybe I’ll do this later… when things slow down.”
Don’t wait. The time will never be just right. ~ Napoleon Hill
Similar to acknowledging that changing your behavior will take time, it is important to remind yourself that there is really not a better time. Unless you start changing your behaviors now, your way of operating will likely continue as is, right?
So, maybe now, as messy as it is, is the perfect time.
You Need To Do The Work
It is not just about putting in the time, though. You also have to put in the work in order to benefit from the process of coaching, which includes:
- stopping old behaviors that do not serve you and adopting new behaviors to help you meet your goals
- making less quantifiable internal shifts – like feeling more calm or having more self-trust.
- letting go of limiting beliefs about yourself, life and others and adopting positive new beliefs
At the beginning of the article I suggested you ask yourself, “Am I engaging the services of a coach because I believe in the process?” And when you start coaching your answer may be an emphatic, “Yes, of course, this is what I want and need.”
You may also be thinking, “This will make me better.” Be careful of this thinking. Engaging the services of an ADHD Coach will not be what brings about changes for you.
The changes will only come about because you are both committed to the process and do the work.
ADDed Perspectives Bottom Line
Last, if you are incredibly busy, the process might take longer. That is ok, as long as you stay committed to taking the steps you can given your current capacity, however incremental.
The time will pass anyway. Why not move toward a better future?