Part 1 of Series on Moving Forward
I should keep a cleaner house, work more hours, be more organized, make more money, go on more vacations…
What should you be doing?
Whenever I say, “I should,” I know there is a great possibility that the "Jones" are lurking in the corner. I can't see them, but I know they are there.
Perhaps you have the Smiths in your house. It is probably a safe bet to assume you do when you find yourself judging yourself against some external standard.
Ask the Jones or Smiths to sit down with you. Go ahead. Now is as good a time as any. Ask them what is important to them. Compare what they say to what is important to you.
Now, ask yourself what you want to be doing, rather than what you should be doing. Is it different?
Occasionally, I do this exercise just to keep grounded and make sure I am on the right path for myself.
It kept me from getting a 50" Plasma TV with a Wii. Those of you with kids know of this kind of temptation this time of year everytime you hear: "Mom, Bobby has…"
If you keep trying to keep up with the Jones, you may keep running and never get to where you really want to be. This makes it hard to make decisions. You may feel conflicted because what you really want, based on your true values, is counter to what you feel you should have when you look at the Jones.
Can't Have It All
You say you want a different house, more vacations, a different job, more time with your family/friends, more down time, more time to exercise, better eating habits, more connections…
What would it feel like if you finally admitted to yourself you can't have it all?
Decision Making Made Easier
What if, instead, you decided what is most important to you? And declared what you will do to get it? How would it help you to get what you really want, if you decided what you are willing to give up, even if the Jones have it?!
Decision making is much easier when it is based on your values. Without an understanding of your values and what is important to you, the options are seemingly limitless and it makes it hard to choose a direction.
If you have not done the values exercises in my book, try them now. Don't have the book yet? You can get it here.
Want Help Setting Priorities and Making Decisions
The ADDED Perspective Coaching program is available to help you. Do you know what is important to you? Are you making decisions based on your values? Are you headed in the direction you want? Check out details of the support available here.