and more\u2026<\/li>\n<\/ul>\nOf course, these and other short term goals are likely part of a larger picture. For you that larger picture may entail growing your business, creating more balance, enhancing your career, taking better care of yourself, etc.<\/p>\n
And on a daily basis you make countless decisions <\/strong>in critical moments<\/strong> that either support<\/strong> or hinder<\/strong> you in reaching<\/strong> these goals<\/strong>.<\/p>\nBut, you, like many Adults with ADHD, make many decisions on autopilot. They are so habitual it may not seem you are even making a decision in the moment. You just act without thinking<\/strong>, right?<\/p>\nThe key<\/strong> is to change<\/strong> your course<\/strong> by making<\/strong> more decisions<\/strong> in critical moments <\/strong>that support<\/strong> your efforts in reaching your goals<\/strong>.<\/p>\nI know you get that.<\/p>\n
So, let\u2019s look at how you can do this \u2014 change your course.<\/p>\n
When Is the Critical Moment?!<\/h2>\n
Critical moments are not always obvious. Consider these examples<\/strong>.<\/p>\n1.Though you want to cut down on sugar, you buy<\/strong> 2 tubs of ice cream<\/strong> because it is on sale. You tell yourself, \u201cIt\u2019s a good deal. I\u2019ll make it last.\u201d<\/p>\nThe critical moment is when you bought the ice cream, not when you mindlessly had your second dish because you were tired and forgot you were trying to cut down on sugar.<\/p>\n
2. You want to get to meetings on time. But, as you are getting ready to leave to meet with a client, you decide <\/strong>to send one more email<\/strong>. You tell yourself, \u201cThis will just take 2 minutes.\u201d You end up answering a few emails, and you are late to your meeting.<\/p>\nIn this instance the critical moment is when you decide to do one more thing, rather than leave. Because, if you had left right away, you would not have lost track of time and answered a few more emails.<\/p>\n
3. You want to feel less rushed, more in control. But you schedule<\/strong> a meeting<\/strong> for 5 pm on a day you need to be home by 6 pm sharp, thinking, \u201cI can fit in a 30 minute meeting and still get home by 6.\u201d The meeting goes until 5:50. There is traffic… You roll in at 6:30.<\/p>\nHere the critical moment is scheduling the meeting at 5. If you had not done this, you could have left yourself a buffer and enough time to transition so you could leave by 5:30 and get home on time.<\/p>\n
Clearly the critical moment <\/strong>is not always obvious.<\/strong><\/p>\nPreparing in Advance to Change Course<\/h2>\n
The key<\/strong> to creating <\/strong>the change<\/strong> you want – adopting new habits<\/strong> – is to prepare in advance<\/strong> by identifying:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n- your typical critical moment(s).<\/li>\n
- options available to you in those moments.<\/li>\n
- the option(s) that will give you the greatest chance of creating the change you want.<\/li>\n
- how to follow through on the best option(s).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
With practice and support you can get better at identifying these critical moments. So, when you come to the fork in the road<\/strong>, you will have less<\/strong> of a struggle<\/strong> making a decision<\/strong> in the moment.<\/strong><\/p>\nLet\u2019s take a deeper dive now to see how this works.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll Do This Later\u201d<\/h2>\n
A common critical momen<\/strong>t for Adults with ADHD is when you say, \u201cI\u2019ll do this later\u2026\u201d<\/p>\nLet\u2019s look at the case of Sally, who wants to manage<\/strong> her time better<\/strong> in part so she can take the right actions<\/strong> to grow<\/strong> her business<\/strong>.<\/p>\nSally received a request from a prospective client, Ahmed, to meet next Friday at 9:30 am; it is the only time he has available that week. She is available, too. So, she immediately sent him an email to confirm. And thought, “I\u2019ll have to put that on my calendar, later<\/strong>. I have to get to my meeting with Aja now.\u201d<\/p>\nBut, that afternoon, while on a call with her team, after checking her calendar she scheduled a meeting with them for, you guessed it, Friday at 9:30. She forgot about her meeting with Ahmed…<\/p>\n
Later, when she was going through her email again, she realizes her mistake and became really frustrated, thinking, \u201cNot again!!\u201d Then she had to spend her time and energy untangling the mess she created\u2026<\/p>\n
The critical moment, <\/strong>when she could have prevented double booking herself and the ensuing fall out, was when she responded to Ahmed’s email without putting the meeting in her calendar.<\/strong><\/p>\nSince Sally is often overwhelmed, in many such critical moments her automatic response<\/strong> often is, \u201cI\u2019ll do that later. I don\u2019t have time now.\u201d<\/p>\nI bet that sounds familiar, right?<\/p>\n
Sally, realizing that this response creates more overwhelm, affects her ability to manage her time well and grow her business, decides to create a more helpful habit<\/strong> for these critical moments. She commits in advance<\/strong> to slowing down whenever she is aware of a date and time sensitive appointments and…<\/p>\n– put these appointments, even tentative ones, in her calendar immediately.<\/p>\n
– use self-talk to remind herself: \u201cIf I slow down and do this now, I will save time and energy in the long run. I really do have a minute to do this.\u201d<\/p>\n
– use Beeminder to track her progress and make it fun.<\/p>\n
While not easy to implement, creating a different habit for those critical moments certainly made life easier for Sally in the long run.<\/p>\n
Why Adults with ADHD Need to Focus On Critical Moments<\/h2>\n
I was first introduced to the idea of critical moments through the writings of Dr. Craig Surman, a neuropsychiatrist, ADHD researcher at Harvard Medical School and co-author of\u00a0 “Fast Minds — How to Thrive if you Have ADHD (or think you might).”<\/p>\n
And since then I\u2019ve been convinced that, if you want to create better habits with greater ease, identifying and changing these moments are key to do this.<\/p>\n
Because, if you are like other Adults with ADHD, you may tend to live in the moment. This may be because you:<\/p>\n
\n- are reacting to whatever comes up in the moment.<\/li>\n
- are so overwhelmed you are just trying to keep your head above water.<\/li>\n
- have not learned and\/or adopted a system or strategies to be proactive, yet.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Identifying in advance your critical moments is one step you can take to become more proactive in your daily life.<\/p>\n
It will take a lot of practice, for sure.<\/p>\n
Next Step For You \u2013 Experiment<\/h2>\n
What is one goal area you are working on right now?<\/p>\n
Identify the critical moment or moments that are hindering you from reaching this goal. Not sure? Ask a supportive person to brainstorm with you.<\/p>\n
And then figure out what can you do to change the trajectory of that critical moment. You may need a thought partner to do this, as well.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Like my clients who I have worked with this past week, you may also want to… exercise regularly. get your deliverables in on time. spend quality time with family and friends. communicate clearly and in a timely manner. get enough sleep. run productive meetings. and more\u2026 Of course, these and other short term goals are likely part of a larger picture. For you that larger picture may entail growing your business, creating more balance, enhancing your career, taking better care of yourself, etc. And on a daily basis you make countless decisions in critical moments that either support or hinder you in reaching these goals. But, you, like many Adults with ADHD, make many decisions on autopilot. They are so habitual it may…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":19937,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[727],"tags":[187,241,46],"class_list":["post-10468","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","tag-adhd-decision-making","tag-adhd-habits","tag-adhd-overwhelm"],"yoast_head":"\n
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