{"id":12600,"date":"2023-01-12T12:50:27","date_gmt":"2023-01-12T12:50:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marlacummins.com\/stage2026\/?p=12600"},"modified":"2025-06-15T11:12:24","modified_gmt":"2025-06-15T15:12:24","slug":"adhd-communication-problems","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marlacummins.com\/stage2026\/adhd-communication-problems\/","title":{"rendered":"Part 3 – How ADHD Adults Keep Conversations From Going Horribly Wrong"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

(originally published November 10, 2017, updated January 12, 2023 ) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Communicating well in everyday run-of-the-mill conversations can be difficult for ADHD adults. I wrote about this in the two previous articles, ADHD Adults Communicate Better Using These 7 Listening Tips<\/a> and 5 Strategies You Need to Use to Be Better Understood in Conversations<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But you will need a different skill set to handle crucial conversations. <\/strong>These are conversations where the stakes are high<\/strong>, opinions vary<\/strong>, and emotions run strong<\/strong>, according to authors Joseph Grenny et al. of  Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High<\/a>. The authors also note that:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our natural tendencies in moments that seem threatening lean toward fight or flight rather than listen and speak.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This can be especially true for ADHD adults for reasons I will explore in a bit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To avoid a fight or flight response you will first want to learn how to identify<\/strong> when you are entering this type of conversation. And then use<\/strong> the skills below to navigate <\/strong>them. So you don\u2019t react impulsively. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ready to get started?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What Makes a Conversation Crucial?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m sure you\u2019ve been in plenty of conversations where opinions vary<\/strong>. It might be a disagreement between you and your boss about how to tackle an important project. Maybe you and your spouse disagree on how to handle the household finances. Then again, it might a difference of opinion between you and your teenager about curfew.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In these and other contexts where opinions vary, emotions can also run strong<\/strong>. And regardless of whether the issue is a big deal to you in the long run, because of your ADHD, you may have difficulty regulating your emotions. So before you can take a beat and consider what you want to do, your logical brain may go offline, and your emotional brain takes over<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In addition to opinions varying and emotions running strong, the stakes are also high<\/strong> in crucial conversations. This means the outcome<\/strong> of the conversation, whether it goes well or not, could have a huge impact<\/strong> on the quality of your life<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And this is the reason learning how to navigate these types of conversations is so important.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Examples of High Stakes Conversations<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The first step in doing this is to be aware when you’re about to enter a high stakes conversation. So you don’t inadvertently step on a landmine and incur catastrophic results. Think of a conversation<\/strong> you’ve had whereby the resulting fallout<\/strong> of a conversation that ended poorly impacted your life significantly<\/strong>. These might include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n