<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Adults with ADHD are often overwhelmed by decision-making. But having lots of options is a good thing, right? After all, it allows you to get exactly what you want. At least that is what our modern consumer culture leads us to believe. More is better, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But what about when you account for the time, energy and stress involved in choosing between so many options? Is more still better?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Many adults with ADHD struggle when attempting to choose among an overwhelming number of options. And you can clearly see this in the quote below of a current client (reprinted with permission).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m really struggling to make any decisions in almost any scenario. Like, choosing between 2 things, choosing to get rid of something. I get a sense of panic\/anxiety, as well as, a sense of frustration. Logic makes no difference. The magnitude of the decision makes no difference. Trust in someone else to \u201cmake\u201d the decision makes little difference (I still have to pull the trigger). When I do make the decision, I hold my nose, squelch the butterflies and just do it on faith that it won\u2019t bite me in the butt later.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Any choice, whether big or small, can prompt the feelings described above for adults with ADHD. Sound familiar?<\/p>\n\n\n\n According to Barry Schwartz, author of Paradox of Choice<\/a>, more is less<\/strong>. Let\u2019s see why that is for adults with ADHD and what you can do to address this challenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You may have been told and, consequently, you may believe you can\u2019t pay attention. That\u2019s just not true. The real challenge for you and other adults with ADHD is you pay attention to everything! That is, you have a surplus of attention. So, when needing to make choices you may be overwhelmed by<\/strong>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n With all the thoughts swirling about in your head it can even feel little like a game of pinball. How do I make this choice and that choice? What is the best option? And, because it is so hard, you may:<\/p>\n\n\n\n You can counter this in two ways. First, minimize the number of choices<\/strong> you need to make day-to-day. Then, when you do need to make choices, minimize the number of options<\/strong> you are willing to consider.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ready to learn how?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Think of a recent time<\/strong> when you agonized over making a choice<\/strong>. Maybe it was about buying something or choosing how to use your time. The process may have been so agonizing for you because you were being a maximizer<\/strong> \u2014 trying to make the absolute best choice possible. And in doing so you may have worried about:<\/p>\n\n\n\n As Schwartz notes, if you are doing the above you may be causing yourself undue suffering<\/strong> because your expectations are unrealistic<\/strong>. There is an alternative<\/strong>. What if instead you could learn to accept \u201cgood enough\u201d \u2014 be a satisficer?<\/p>\n\n\n\n This does not mean that you are resigning yourself to mediocrity. I know you might be thinking this. If you could really embrace and appreciate this perspective of \u201cgood enough,\u201d I think it could bring you peace of mind. What is less overwhelm and less stress worth to you? If you\u2019re in, and want to practice being a satisficer<\/strong>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Not sure how to do this on your own? Ask for help from a friend, family member, coach or therapist<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Again, think of the last time you tried to make the best choice possible. You know there are more options out there than you can possibly explore given the constraints of your time and energy. Yet, you might have felt compelled to keep researching until your head is spinning with information overload.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Was the cost of going through the process worth it? If you made a good choice, and are only concerned about the outcome, you may decide the process was worth it. Even if it felt grueling. But I know you would also like to feel better about the process of choosing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One way to feel better about the process of choosing<\/strong> is to limit the number of options you explore<\/strong>. Again, this does not mean that your resigning yourself to mediocrity. Rather, you are deciding to focus your time and energy on<\/strong> what really matters to you<\/a>. And, when you do this, you will need to let some opportunities pass you by.<\/p>\n\n\n\n While not easy, you can do this by deciding in advance to, for example:<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, as you work toward becoming more of a satisficer, rather than a maximizer, limiting your choices will become easier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Limiting your options will make the process of choosing easier, for sure. But, if you want to feel better about the process and outcome, you\u2019ll also need to explore how you evaluate the choices<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In many instances, you might either express gratitude or regret<\/strong> when making a choice. And, of course, you will feel better <\/strong>when you focus:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Make sense, right? But you also know it\u2019s not easy to do. So, let\u2019s look at how you can do this in practice<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To see more of what is good in your choices adopt a daily habit of using a gratitude journal<\/strong>. Just before bed write down 5 things, including 1-2 of your choices, that you are grateful for from that day. While your choices may not turn out exactly as you envisioned, you will begin to see what is good about them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And, to focus less on the regret<\/strong> you might feel, <\/strong>remind yourself in the moment of the following:<\/p>\n\n\n\n For example<\/strong>, the food at the restaurant may not have been good. But, on reflection, you might still find you are grateful for the time you spent with your family and friends. That is, rather than focusing on the bad food, you can focus more of what was good about the choice to go out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Try the above<\/strong> with an example from today.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Another way to minimize regret when making a choice is to remove excessively high expectations<\/strong>. So, in the example of going out to eat, don\u2019t expect some idealized version of a gathering \u2014 perfect food, perfect company, perfect service, etc. Rather, attempt to appreciate the serendipity of the moment<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To do this you\u2019ll also need to explore how you compare yourself to others<\/strong>. Are there any choices you\u2019re currently trying to make based on what you think others have? Maybe you are thinking, \u201cIf only I had\u2026, then I would be happy.\u201d Maybe this is prompted by what you see in social media. And, in that case, it might just be illusory, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n You know trying to make choices based on what others have or what you perceive they have is likely not going to make you feel better. The alternative is to focus on what is important to you<\/strong> and brings meaning to your life.<\/strong> And you can do this by choosing to focus on what you decide is essential<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When you make choices based on this you can \u201cmake your highest contribution toward things that really matter to you.\u201d And reduce the number of choices you\u2019re trying to make<\/strong>. Nice, right?!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Another way to reduce the number of daily choices you need to make is to establish some helpful structures. I know. While structure can be useful for, you may also not like how it feels, right? It may feel too constraining sometimes. So, like many adults with ADHD, you may tend to resist them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The key is to establish just enough structure<\/strong> and not too much. It\u2019s all about balance. When you have just enough you can focus more on what is important to you. Because you will not be faced with so many daily decisions. And one way to do this is to establish rules and routines<\/a>, such as the ones below:<\/p>\n\n\n\n By deciding these rules in advance you will free up your time and energy<\/strong>. And also be able to focus on choices you need to make<\/strong> that do not lend themselves to routines.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You know adults with ADHD are often overwhelmed by decision-making. Which of the above strategies can you start using to reduce the overwhelm of having too many choices?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Adults with ADHD are often overwhelmed by decision-making. But having lots of options is a good thing, right? After all, it allows you to get exactly what you want. At least that is what our modern consumer culture leads us to believe. More is better, right? But what about when you account for the time, energy and stress involved in choosing between so many options? Is more still better? Many adults with ADHD struggle when attempting to choose among an overwhelming number of options. And you can clearly see this in the quote below of a current client (reprinted with permission). I\u2019m really struggling to make any decisions in almost any scenario. Like, choosing between 2 things, choosing to get rid of something. I…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":19937,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[727],"tags":[187],"class_list":["post-12714","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","tag-adhd-decision-making"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy ADHD Adults Have Difficulty Making Choices<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\n
\n
Let Go of the Fear of Missing Out<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\n
\n
Decide to Have Fewer Options When Choosing<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\n
Express More Gratitude and Less Regret<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\n
\n
Remove Excessively High Expectations & Comparisons to Others<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Learn to Love Structure<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\n
Ready to be Free of the Tyranny of Too Many Choices?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n