{"id":14307,"date":"2021-12-14T11:08:13","date_gmt":"2021-12-14T11:08:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marlacummins.com\/stage2026\/?p=14307"},"modified":"2024-02-22T10:36:30","modified_gmt":"2024-02-22T15:36:30","slug":"adhd-adults-need-to-use-self-talk-to-be-proactive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marlacummins.com\/stage2026\/adhd-adults-need-to-use-self-talk-to-be-proactive\/","title":{"rendered":"Part 1: Effective ADHD Adults Know How to Use These Self-Talk Skills"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

(originally published September 6, 2019, updated December 14, 2021)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I were to tell you ADHD adults commonly need to upgrade their self-talk skills, you might think, \u201cWhat? I talk to myself all the time!\u201d I know you do. In fact, just before reading this article, maybe you told yourself:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI should be doing my work. I’m going to be late delivering, again!! Why can’t I get stuff done like everyone else? And then, completely frustrated, you might have decided to read this article. Because, you told yourself, \u201cI’m going to be late getting it in, anyway. Reading one article is not going to make a difference.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While you may be well versed in the above self-talk, engaging in this kind only serves to hinder you in following through on your intentions, right? On the other hand, as an ADHD adult, you likely have an underdeveloped ability<\/strong> to engage in helpful and positive self-talk <\/strong>\u2014the type you need to use to guide your behavior<\/strong> and actions to reach your goals<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, let’s get on with looking at how you can catch yourself when your self-talk doesn’t serve you, and instead adopt and use more helpful self-talk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How Self-Talk Helps You Reach Your Goals<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

When you can self-regulate<\/strong> you behave<\/strong> in a way that maximizes your chances of reaching a goal<\/strong>. Yet, we know one of the hallmark challenges <\/strong>for ADHD adults is self-regulation<\/strong>, which involves multiple executive functions, including, yes, internalized self-talk<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let’s say you want to cut down on sugar<\/strong>. But, since you still want to support your local bakery, you decide you’ll just get your coffee there, and forego your usual French Cruller<\/strong>. To resist buying the donut, below are the steps you would need to take<\/strong>, according to Dr. Russel Barkley.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  1. You need to be aware that there is a problem \u2014 the donuts will be a temptation \u2014 when you walk into the bakery.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. Then you\u2019ll need to resist the urge to order the donut (inhibition).<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. You\u2019ll also need to redirect your attention so you only order the coffee.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  4. To do this you might use self-talk<\/strong>, such as: \u201cI want to have less sugar in my diet so I can be healthier. The donut is just not worth it. There are other foods without sugar I can get and enjoy.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  5. You might also visualize your goal. Maybe it’s a picture of you feeling healthier because you’re not eating sugar.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  6. And in the moment, you might think about ways you could deal with the temptation (problem-solving). <\/strong>Perhaps you put a note on your coffee mug, \u201cNo donut, just coffee!\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    That’s a lot to do!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    And, obviously, if supporting your local bakery wasn’t so important to you, you might just decide to go elsewhere for your coffee. Then you wouldn\u2019t have to do all this hard work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    How Do You Know if Your Self-Talk Is Getting in Your Way?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    To become more aware of how your self-talk may be hindering you from being and acting in alignment with your values and reaching your goals ask yourself<\/strong>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Where am I\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n