{"id":21823,"date":"2025-08-26T08:42:18","date_gmt":"2025-08-26T12:42:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marlacummins.com\/stage2026\/?p=21823"},"modified":"2025-08-26T08:45:32","modified_gmt":"2025-08-26T12:45:32","slug":"adhd-mistake-prevention","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marlacummins.com\/stage2026\/adhd-mistake-prevention\/","title":{"rendered":"The Steps to Prevent and Recover From ADHD Mistakes"},"content":{"rendered":"<div itemscope itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/AudioObject\"><meta itemprop=\"name\" content=\"The Steps to Prevent and Recover From ADHD Mistakes\" \/><meta itemprop=\"uploadDate\" content=\"2025-08-26T08:42:18-04:00\" \/><meta itemprop=\"encodingFormat\" content=\"audio\/mpeg\" \/><meta itemprop=\"description\" content=\"Discover the 4 types of mistakes ADHD adults make, how to prevent them and recover the inevitable ones without shame.\" \/><meta itemprop=\"contentUrl\" content=\"https:\/\/media.blubrry.com\/scattered_focused_done\/media.blubrry.com\/scattered_focused_done\/content.blubrry.com\/scattered_focused_done\/Understanding_ADHD_Mistakes_and_How_to_Prevent_Them.mp3\" \/><meta itemprop=\"contentSize\" content=\"18.2\" \/><iframe src=\"https:\/\/player.blubrry.com\/?media_url=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.blubrry.com%2Fscattered_focused_done%2Fmedia.blubrry.com%2Fscattered_focused_done%2Fcontent.blubrry.com%2Fscattered_focused_done%2FUnderstanding_ADHD_Mistakes_and_How_to_Prevent_Them.mp3&amp;modern=1&amp;podcast_link=https%3A%2F%2Fmarlacummins.com%2Fstage2026%2Fadhd-mistake-prevention%2F#mode-Light&border-8D4599&progress-8D4599\" scrolling=\"no\" width=\"100%\" height=\"165\" frameborder=\"0\" id=\"blubrryplayer-1\" class=\"blubrryplayer\" title=\"Blubrry Podcast Player\"><\/iframe><\/div>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Episode Summary<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>ADHD adults make mistakes. More than their neurotypical peers. But not all mistakes are created equal. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In this episode, I\u2019ll also introduce you to Eduardo Brice\u00f1o\u2019s framework for understanding four distinct types of mistakes and how you can mitigate the occurrence of each type.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019ll also cover practical techniques for recovering from the inevitable slip-ups without spiraling into shame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What You\u2019ll Learn About ADHD and Making Mistakes<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>The four types of mistakes and why ADHD brains are prone to each one <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Prevention strategies tailored to each mistake type that work with your ADHD brain<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>How to tell when something isn\u2019t actually a mistake, just an unwanted reaction <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>The STOP method for regulating your nervous system when mistakes trigger panic <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Self-compassion techniques that prevent shame spirals and help you learn faster <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Transcript: <\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">(00:01): <\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Everyone makes mistakes, and adults with ADHD may indeed make more mistakes because of ADHD symptoms. So there are two questions. One, how can you minimize them? And two, just as important, what is the most helpful way to respond to them when they do inevitably happen? You\u2019ve tuned into Reimagining Productivity with ADHD, a podcast for ADHD adults like you who want to learn how to adopt the best strategies, tools, and skills to be able to get your essential work done in a way that works with the way your brain is wired. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019m Marla Cummins, and I\u2019m glad you decided to join me today on this journey to reimagining productivity with ADHD so you can do what is important to you without trying to do it like everyone else. I\u2019ve made my share of mistakes, no doubt, including some pretty significant ones that took a long time to process and move through fully.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">(00:59): <\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>So I\u2019ve learned a thing or two about how to move through mistakes, and I know it isn\u2019t always easy. A mistake, as I\u2019m defining it, isn\u2019t about getting a reaction you don\u2019t like or intend. It\u2019s doing something that goes against your values and goals. I know you may be listening to this podcast because you want to make fewer mistakes. Before exploring how to do that and how to move through them with more equanimity, let\u2019s look at the four different types of mistakes using Eduardo Brice\u00f1o\u2019s framework. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>First, let\u2019s start with a stretch mistake. A stretch mistake is one that you could not have foreseen the consequences because you were reaching beyond your current capabilities. That is, you\u2019re in the learning zone. It\u2019s outside of your current area of mastery, and that\u2019s what makes it a stretch mistake. In the case of stretch mistakes, if there\u2019s anything risky about it, you\u2019ll likely only find out in hindsight. Let\u2019s say you decide to renovate your kitchen backsplash yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">(02:06): <\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>You watch YouTube tutorials, buy the materials, and feel pretty confident about the process. But once you start removing the old tile, you discover water damage behind the wall that requires electrical work and drywall repair. You never anticipated it. Or you delegate a task to a team member to free up your time, but you underestimate how much guidance or follow-up they\u2019ll need, and it doesn\u2019t go as well as you would have liked because you didn\u2019t do enough on your end. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Presumably, the only way to avoid these types of mistakes is to play it safe, not do anything beyond where you already have mastery. But I think for most ADHD adults who appreciate a challenge now and then, this just isn\u2019t the way they want to do things. If you\u2019re learning and growing, you need to reach beyond your current capabilities, right? Stretch mistakes are only problematic if you continue to repeat the same mistake.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(03:08): You can course correct. You can learn from the mistakes you made and put guardrails in place to prevent those exact mistakes from happening again. For adults with ADHD, while stretch mistakes are inevitable, there may be instances where you have sometimes acted too fast without enough planning and thinking about future consequences, so you just don\u2019t see the gaps until you hit them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you are prone to this, one workaround is to build systems or checkpoints where you can do more of what I like to call upfront thinking, perhaps by processing with others so they can help you identify these potential gaps. It\u2019s not that you were careless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s just that the executive function work of forecasting and planning didn\u2019t fully happen before acting, which is a pretty classic ADHD stretch mistake scenario. Then there are the aha moment mistakes. These mistakes happen when you do achieve the outcome you thought you wanted, only to realize afterward that it really wasn\u2019t the right move.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How You Can Think Ahead to Prevent ADHD Mistakes<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">(04:22): <\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Unlike a stretch mistake, it\u2019s not about lacking skill or reaching beyond your current capabilities. It\u2019s about saying or doing something in the moment that seems like the right thing to do, but then only afterwards realizing that the consequences just don\u2019t align with your goals or perhaps even your values. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let\u2019s say you commit to doing a new project because it seems interesting and you want to be a team player, only to realize later that you just don\u2019t have the bandwidth to put in the time and effort to bring the project to the finish line successfully. Or you send that email, yes, that email. You\u2019re clear and make the point you want to make. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then, later find out that you didn\u2019t have all the information you needed, and you would not have sent it if you had. For ADHD adults, sometimes it\u2019s about not weighing out all the options, jumping in too soon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">(05:25): <\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Yes, impulsivity. Sometimes it\u2019s working memory challenges, zeroing in on one piece of information and not being able to hold multiple pieces of information in mind in order to weigh out your options. And then, of course, other times it may be frustration or emotional reactivity and just wanting to act quickly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The way to lessen the occurrence of these is to pause, reflect, check in with others, and again, like with stretch mistakes, build small decision checkpoints. You can reduce repeat occurrences while still honoring your drive to move things forward. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The learning in aha moment mistakes comes from noticing how impulsivity, working memory limits, or emotional reactions influence your decision. The third type of mistake is a sloppy mistake. A sloppy mistake, as you might imagine, is when you\u2019re doing something you already know how to do, but you make the mistake, maybe because you lose concentration or act too quickly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">(06:43): <\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>This isn\u2019t about lacking knowledge or skill. Maybe you\u2019ve done this task successfully many times. It\u2019s about your attention being pulled elsewhere in the moment when you need to focus. So, for example, you might send an email with the wrong attachment because you were thinking about three other things while hitting send, or you put the wrong time in your calendar for a meeting because you were distracted when they announced it, even though you know perfectly well how to write down meeting times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The frustrating thing about sloppy mistakes is that you absolutely can do the task correctly. It\u2019s not a knowledge gap or a skill issue. It\u2019s a focus and attention issue, which makes it particularly maddening for ADHD adults for whom this is a struggle. For adults with ADHD, sloppy mistakes often happen because you\u2019re rushing or trying to multitask, or when your attention again is being pulled in multiple directions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How To Reduce Everyday ADHD Mistakes Caused by Distraction<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">(07:44): <\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>You can literally feel it in your body when you\u2019re going too fast. That sense of urgency makes you want to just get something done rather than do it carefully. Of course, the way to reduce sloppy mistakes is to resist the urge to go fast and really slow down. Not easy. This means assuming you won\u2019t remember something and putting it directly into your task list or calendar. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It means double and triple-checking your work. It means having checklists either for implementation or for review after you\u2019ve completed something to make sure you did it correctly. I use checklists all the time. Usually, in my haste, I don\u2019t use them while I\u2019m doing my work, like crafting a podcast or a blog post, which I probably should. But I know I can\u2019t rely on my memory, so I use the checklist after I think I\u2019m done and catch any of the mistakes I might have made along the way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">(08:44): <\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019ll check the calendar sometimes three or four times before sending out an email to make sure I got the date right. I know it sounds excessive, but it works. The learning from sloppy mistakes comes from recognizing your patterns. When do you tend to lose focus? What environmental factors contribute to rushing? And what systems can you put in place to catch these errors? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The fourth kind of mistake is what Brice\u00f1o calls a high-stakes mistake. This is one where the results can potentially be catastrophic, either because there\u2019s an element of real physical danger or because the consequences can be life-changing in ways that are difficult to reverse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These are the mistakes we want to, of course, avoid at all costs, though preventing them often requires significant executive function capacity. So, for example, you might speed on an icy road because you\u2019re running late to an important job interview, risking an accident.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">(09:50): <\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>That, of course, could cause serious harm. Or you might make a major financial decision impulsively during a period of emotional distress without fully considering the long-term consequences or seeking input from others. The challenging thing about high-stakes mistakes is that they often happen at our most vulnerable moments when we\u2019re stressed, overwhelmed, grieving, or otherwise not operating from our best decision-making capacity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Our executive functions that are already compromised because of our ADHD symptoms are even more challenging to access when we need them the most. The way to minimize high-stakes mistakes is to put systems in place during calm periods that can protect you during vulnerable ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This might mean having trusted people you commit to consulting before major decisions, or creating waiting periods for yourself before acting on important choices. Sometimes it means recognizing your emotional state and explicitly choosing not to make major decisions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How Do You Prevent ADHD Mistakes With Serious Consequences?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">(11:01): <\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>When you\u2019re in crisis mode, even if external pressures suggest you should act quickly, the learning from high-stakes mistakes, when they do happen, often isn\u2019t about the specific decision itself, but about the conditions that led to making such an important choice from a compromised state. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So what systems could you put in place to protect your future self? How can you recognize when you\u2019re in a vulnerable decision-making space? Now that you understand the four types of mistakes, let\u2019s talk about how to respond when you think you\u2019ve made a mistake. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Regardless of the type of mistake, there is one method I think is helpful in any situation after making what you think is a mistake\u2014and I say that intentionally, you\u2019ll find out in a minute. That is a method you\u2019ve probably heard of already called STOP. Here\u2019s why this matters. When you make a mistake, your heart starts pounding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">(12:06): <\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Your stomach feels like it just dropped three floors. Cortisol is flooding your system like someone opened the floodgates. Your amygdala hijacks your brain, and your prefrontal cortex, your rational brain, is gone. You start spiraling, and this is not the time to act. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You need to get your thinking brain, your prefrontal cortex, back online so you can make an informed decision about what to do next and avoid further compounding the mistake you already made. With the STOP method, you first stop for as much time as needed, and then take a breath. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is meant to help you regulate because in those instances, your prefrontal cortex, as I said, has gone offline, and your amygdala, again, sometimes called the reptilian or lizard brain, has taken over, making it hard for you to make decisions about what to do next. So after you do that, the next thing is to observe what\u2019s going on in your body.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What Should You Do Right After Making an ADHD Mistake?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">(13:10): <\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Observe your thoughts and your feelings. Take as much time as you need. It could be minutes, hours, days, or weeks. And only then proceed with whatever decision you make. Once you feel more regulated, and as you\u2019re thinking about how to proceed, this is also the time to decide whether you indeed did make a mistake. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, when you say or do something that perhaps other people don\u2019t like, you may decide it was a mistake. This is further compounded by the reality that adults with ADHD can tend to have rejection sensitivity. But of course, it\u2019s possible that what you said or did wasn\u2019t a mistake, but rather because everyone has an opinion, they might just not have liked what you said or did. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It might be that what you said or did was exactly what you wanted in alignment with your values and goals, and you just didn\u2019t get a positive response.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">(14:16): <\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>That doesn\u2019t mean it was a mistake because, well, everyone has opinions. For example, you shared an idea in a meeting with your colleagues that didn\u2019t really land, so there was no real discussion about it. That doesn\u2019t mean it was a mistake. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That just means that the people in that room on that day may not have been interested in your idea. Maybe it was a great idea, and they just didn\u2019t realize it. Or you sent a thoughtful email, and you got a negative response, so perhaps the person didn\u2019t like what you had to say. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That doesn\u2019t mean it was a mistake. Or maybe you expressed how you were feeling to a family member or friend, and they got angry. Just because they responded in anger doesn\u2019t mean, again, that you necessarily said anything wrong. You get it. You\u2019ll have to decide in each context whether it was a mistake or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">(15:16): <\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Remember, at least the way I\u2019m defining it, a mistake isn\u2019t necessarily about getting a reaction you don\u2019t like or intend. It\u2019s doing something that goes against your values and goals. So what if you indeed did make a mistake? That is, you decide it really was a mistake. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The first step is to lean into self-compassion rather than problem-solving initially. The reason for this is that by giving yourself self-compassion, you can be steadier in deciding how to respond to the mistake. According to Kristin Neff, a leading expert on self-compassion, when you give yourself self-compassion, you can identify and be with your negative emotions, but you don\u2019t try to avoid or run away from them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You also recognize that you\u2019re not alone in making mistakes. It\u2019s part of being human. And third, you\u2019re kind to yourself even when you feel you fall short of your own or others\u2019 expectations because of your mistakes. Once you\u2019ve given yourself the time and space you need to both regulate and provide yourself with self-compassion,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How Can You Learn From ADHD Mistakes?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">(16:33): <\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The next step, if you have an opportunity to address or perhaps fix the situation, is the cleanup. The first step to do this is to identify which type of mistake you made. Was this a stretch mistake where you were reaching beyond your capabilities? Or was it an aha moment where you got an outcome you didn\u2019t actually want?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Or maybe it was a sloppy mistake from lost concentration? Then again, was it a high-stakes mistake with serious consequences? Understanding the type that you made will help you know how to respond and perhaps minimize the chances of it happening again. Did you misspeak? Can you go back to the person or people and explain what you intended to say? Maybe you need to apologize.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Remember, you are doing this so you can be in alignment with what\u2019s important to you, your values and goals, not because you\u2019re necessarily going to be able to fix it, because you just don\u2019t know how the other person or people will respond. You can only do the best you can. Maybe you need to offer some monetary restitution. You can do that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The key is to do what you think is the most important thing based on the mistake that you made, even though you have no idea how your apology or restitution will land. And one of the reasons to do this is so that you can move forward after you\u2019ve learned what you need to from the mistake and made any amends that you could.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">(18:14): <\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>And of course, sometimes we know the way forward isn\u2019t about fixing the original situation, the original mistake. Maybe you can\u2019t. But about learning from it and carving out a different path. Even mistakes with significant consequences with long-lasting impacts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It might take months or years, but those months and years are going to go past. Whether you move beyond the mistake or not, what would you rather do? That\u2019s it for now. I\u2019m really glad you joined me. I hope what you take away from today\u2019s podcast is that, one, mistakes are inevitable because, well, we\u2019re all human, and that ADHD can, yes, definitely exacerbate the potential for mistakes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But there are also ways to mitigate these in some circumstances. And when mistakes do inevitably happen, I hope that you\u2019ll give yourself some grace and self-compassion. Then, if you can, move forward in whatever way feels best.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">(19:20): <\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>If you want to continue to learn about how to work with your ADHD, please do sign up for my biweekly newsletter. You\u2019ll get time-tested ADHD-friendly strategies and resources from me straight to your inbox. You\u2019ll also receive a complimentary guide I created titled \u201cSix Common Planning Mistakes Adults with ADHD Make and How to Avoid Them.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can find the link in the podcast description, or you can go to marlacummins.com\/planning to sign up and get the guide. This has been Reimagining Productivity with ADHD. I&#8217;m Marla Cummins. Thanks for listening, and until next time, take care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-text-color has-theme-palette-2-color has-alpha-channel-opacity has-theme-palette-2-background-color has-background is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">ADHD Related Links &amp; Resources<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Learn how to plan better with my&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/marlacummins.com\/stage2026\/six-common-planning-mistakes-that-adults-with-adhd-make\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Free Guide: 6 Common Planning Mistakes Adults with ADHD Make<\/a>.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Check out <a href=\"https:\/\/self-compassion.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Kristin Neff\u2019s website<\/a> to learn more about self-compassion and explore her books, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Self-Compassion-Proven-Power-Being-Yourself\/dp\/0061733520\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Self-Compassion<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/006299106X\/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=selfcompassio-20&amp;creative=9325&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;creativeASIN=006299106X&amp;linkId=72510bb0e43a8507025d9e3713f047e2\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Fierce Self-Compassion<\/a>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Discover the 4 types of mistakes ADHD adults make, how to prevent them and recover the inevitable ones without 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