{"id":5999,"date":"2020-07-17T08:39:30","date_gmt":"2020-07-17T08:39:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marlacummins.com\/stage2026\/?p=5999"},"modified":"2020-07-17T08:39:30","modified_gmt":"2020-07-17T08:39:30","slug":"adhd-overwhelm","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marlacummins.com\/stage2026\/adhd-overwhelm\/","title":{"rendered":"The 5 Tips You Need to Effectively Reduce ADHD Overwhelm"},"content":{"rendered":"
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(originally published May 2, 1013, Updated July 17, 2020)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I know, as an adult with ADHD, you are all too familiar with what it feels like to be overwhelmed. ADHD overwhelm can seem like an ever-present companion, one you’d like to take a break from, right?  But maybe you’re not sure how to do this \u2014 reduce these feelings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, you continue to ride the waves until they inevitably come crashing down on you. And when they do it can feel as though your brain is flooded. It might even seem like the wires in your brain are short-circuited. So, you can’t even think straight. Then you panic and go into fight, flight, or freeze mode.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While you might not know the best path forward, you do know you want to escape this feeling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No doubt, everyone has challenges in their day-to-day life, leading to overwhelm. But your ADHD challenges may be causing you more overwhelm than your neurotypical family, friends, and colleagues. And your overwhelm, in turn, can exacerbate your ADHD symptoms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Knowing how they\u2019re linked can help you create the right workarounds to both mitigate your overwhelm and effectively work towards your goals. Hopefully, this understanding will also help you feel more self-compassion<\/a> and reduce the shame<\/a> you may feel about the way you currently operate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As Maya Angelou said,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ready to see how you can do better at managing your overwhelm?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What Overwhelm Can Look and Feel Like for ADHD Adults<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

To start, let’s look at the hypothetical scenario below where you\u2019ll get a glimpse of Carrie\u2019s thoughts, feelings, and actions<\/strong> as she struggles to start working on a report. As you\u2019re reading think about what sounds familiar to your own situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carrie has just left a meeting and thinks, “<\/em>Asaf probably thinks it\u2019s my fault the product rollout was delayed.  I\u2019ll have to deal with that later. I need to work on the Ruggles report. And I’m not even sure how to start it.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As she opens the document Carrie feels the stress coming on. Her head feels fuzzy. Then she thinks, “Oh, maybe I should answer Paul\u2019s email and return Sari\u2019s call. I\u2019m never going to get this report done in time! I can\u2019t believe Asaf is blaming me!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Worried about Asaf and all her other work Carrie is having a hard time getting started.  But she re-engages with the report for 20 minutes until she remembers\u2026 “The sink has been leaking for a week. I should call the plumber. It will only take a minute.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After she calls the plumber, she notices her back is hurting from the stress. She looks at the report and remembers, “I promised to be home by 6 so we would talk about summer plans over dinner tonight. I\u2019m never going to get this report done.”  It\u2019s already 4:30.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By 5:00 she finds herself reading the paper online, instead of working, thinking, “<\/em>I might as well just take a break, as I’m too stressed. And, besides, I don’t have that much time to work.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While reading the newspaper gave Carrie some short-term relief, her overwhelm will return as her challenges are still there, right? If Carrie\u2019s story sounds familiar, keep on reading to see what you could do differently to reduce the stress in your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What Is Your ADHD Overwhelm Habit?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Of course, when you’re overwhelmed, you’d like to feel a sense of relief sooner rather than later. In the above scenario with Carrie, she chose to read the paper to gain relief from her overwhelm. It’s one of her overwhelm habits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I bet you have one, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some people shut down, find a distraction, focus on an unimportant task, or maybe even eat or drink too much when they’re overwhelmed. If you’re not sure what you do, try paying attention over the next week to what happens when you become overwhelmed. You might be surprised.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trying to stop doing something that a habit is really, hard. So, rather than focusing on stopping your overwhelm habit, the trick is to replace it with an activity that will serve you<\/strong> in the short run and in the long run. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to learn more about how you developed your overwhelm routine, check out, ADHD and the Habit of Overwhelm<\/a>. And then continue reading to learn what replacement activities you can use to change your overwhelm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do You Avoid Having One To-Do List Because It Overwhelms You<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

You might opt not to have one central task list<\/a> because looking at all your open loops exacerbates your overwhelm. And, as I noted above, this overwhelm is especially magnified when you don’t have a plan for completing these open loops, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, as a result, you’re probably often wondering what you’re forgetting to do. This is because you have no mechanism for remembering to remember<\/strong>. A central task list <\/strong>can be this mechanism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you choose the kind of task list<\/a> you want to use, you can learn how to keep your tasks list from getting too long<\/a> and how to craft your task list<\/a> effectively to help you execute. But a to-do list by itself is not enough to help you execute, of course.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unless you have a plan for executing these tasks, you will still be overwhelmed and likely give up on using your to-do list before too long. Because it will just be a reminder of everything you’re not getting done. So, the next step is to get a better sense of how you’re going to complete your open loops.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And this execution planning will help you persist in using your task list.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Planning Helps ADHD Adults Reduce Their Overwhelm<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Yet, you know planning is hard for ADHD adults. This was true for Carrie, too. As a result, while she ruminated about the report since she was assigned it a month ago, she did not figure out a plan of attack. And, consequently, put off starting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because planning is hard for ADHD adults the first step is to have a plan to plan<\/strong> \u2014 when and how, as well as with whom, if you want support. Whether you work with someone else or not you want to make sure to externalize you’re planning <\/strong>and not try to do it in your head<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Obviously, you don’t have time day to day, moment to moment to do the necessary upfront thinking. So, your planning should include a deep dive once a week to review and plan<\/a>. Then each day you can follow these 7 steps to plan your day<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To get from task list to execution, as you’re planning you may decide to:<\/p>\n\n\n\n