{"id":9717,"date":"2024-05-15T12:31:00","date_gmt":"2024-05-15T16:31:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marlacummins.com\/stage2026\/?p=9717"},"modified":"2025-12-11T12:12:18","modified_gmt":"2025-12-11T17:12:18","slug":"how-to-let-go-of-perfectionism-when-you-have-adhd","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marlacummins.com\/stage2026\/how-to-let-go-of-perfectionism-when-you-have-adhd\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Let Go of Perfectionism When You Have ADHD"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

In the previous post, The Cost of Perfectionism When You Have ADHD<\/a>, I wrote about what it means to be a perfectionist and how it can affect you. If you haven\u2019t yet read that post, go ahead and check it out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, if you decide you\u2019re a perfectionist or just curious about perfectionism, read on to learn what you can do to change it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ready? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Weighing the Costs and Benefits<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

When thinking about the costs and benefits of being a perfectionist, you may initially think, Who would want the burden and pressure of being a perfectionist? And, if you are a perfectionist, you might decide you want to change this behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But as you first try to change your perfectionist behavior, you might find it hard to do so. And you are perplexed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the reasons for this resistance to giving up perfectionism is that, whether you are aware of it or not, you may think there are benefits to this way of being. And you\u2019re just not ready to give up these perceived benefits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to break through this resistance, one way to get started is to be clear on what you perceive to be the costs and benefits of perfectionism. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Negative consequences of perfectionism (eg, can not relax, give up easily\u2026)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Positive consequences of perfectionism (eg, motivates you to work harder\u2026)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What benefits do you expect if you loosen your standards? (eg. More balance in your life, more time with family and friends\u2026)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Costs you might incur if you loosen your standards (eg, you won\u2019t achieve your goals\u2026)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, as you look at the cost, benefits, negative, and positive consequences, what do you think? On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your readiness to change<\/strong>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps you are contemplating the impact of your perfectionism and the possibility of doing something about it. Thinking about making a change is part of the process. If you are not ready to take action quite yet, that\u2019s okay. Come back here when you are ready.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are ready, keep on reading.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What Does Good Enough Look Like?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

When you look at the title of this section, you may immediately jump to the conclusion that I\u2019m asking you to set the bar really low. Not to worry, I\u2019m not. I don\u2019t want you to give up your standards. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m just inviting you to temper your tendency to set unrealistically high standards. So you can work on being less of a perfectionist. As you look at the example below, think of an area in which you tend to be a perfectionist and consider how you could change your standard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Below is an example of how Bob adjusted his standards at work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Choose an Area.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bob wants to be less of a perfectionist at work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2.  Adjust the Standard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Currently, Bob expects all of his written communication to be polished and to demonstrate that he is an expert in his field.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bob decided a more reasonable standard would be that he would be clear in his communication, share what is needed, and add value. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

3.   Current Perfectionist Behavior<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Currently, Bob spends 20 to 30 minutes crafting each email that he writes. Much of this time is spent agonizing over his word choice. He also tries to anticipate questions and concerns people may have and includes the answers to these in the email. Even if they did not ask them yet, he tries to include whatever comes to mind. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

4.   Goal to Reduce this Behavior:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To change this, Bob decided to set a timer and spend no more than 10 minutes on each email. You would check it over to make sure it was clear and that he answered all the questions that were asked. Then he would send it. If they needed more information from him, he would schedule a phone conversation rather than emailing again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bob decided to set a timer and spend no more than 10 minutes on each email. He would check it over to make sure it was clear, and he answered all the questions asked. Then he would send it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5.   Time Frame:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He decided to try out this new system for a month to see if it worked. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are you game to try to adjust your standards?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting Rid Of Your Worst Critic<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t be surprised if you hear your inner critic telling you that this is not good enough. After all, you\u2019ve been operating as a perfectionist for quite a long time. Here are some messages Bob\u2019s inner critic sent him: <\/p>\n\n\n\n