ADHD Emotional Regulation

Strategies to help ADHD adults manage emotional intensity, reactivity, and overwhelm — with compassion and skill.

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    The Impact of Emotions In Managing Your ADHD

    ByMarla Cummins ADHD Emotional Regulation, Blog

      Compassion. Anger. Exhuberance. Frustration. Passion. Impulsiveness. Zealousness. These emotions are just a few we associate with people with ADHD. And you may often read how modulating emotions and managing frustrations can be a challenge for adults with ADHD. True. Yet, beyond this, the other issues related to emotions and ADHD are often not adequately addressed in treatment. This is a mistake. Because, as Dr. Thomas Brown highlights in his most recent book, Smart but Stuck – Emotions in Teens and Adults with ADHD, your emotions greatly impact your ability to carry out your various executive functions in both positive and negative ways. Let’s take a look… Executive Functions To start, below is an overview of Dr. Brown’s Model of Executive Functions Impaired in ADHD….

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    6 Mistakes To Avoid When Managing Your ADHD

    ByMarla Cummins ADHD Emotional Regulation, Blog

      When trying to create change there are common mistakes that people make. So, of course, as an adult with ADHD, you probably are making some of these same mistakes while you are trying to manage your ADHD. If you are making these missteps now, don’t worry. Because, as you become aware of them, you can learn how to sidestep them. And then the journey of learning to manage your ADHD will be far less frustrating, easier, and, yes, even enjoyable. #1 Thinking Your Challenges Are Like Everyone Else’s You may start your journey of managing your ADHD, as many do, by focusing on your challenges, telling yourself… But have you taken the time to learn how your brain works? That is, how are your…

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    Is Shame About Your ADHD Holding You Back?

    ByMarla Cummins ADHD Emotional Regulation, Blog

        One of the topics that comes up frequently in my work with Adults with ADHD, especially those diagnosed later in life, is shame. Well, no, not usually by name. But rather in the form of “I should be able to…” “I shouldn’t have…” “I am so ?#@*&%!…” You get it. While, of course, the origins of shame are different for everyone, there are ways in which ADHD inevitably contributes in some way to each person’s feelings of shame. And, if not addressed directly, these feelings hinder their ability to effectively learn to manage their ADHD. What is your experience dealing with shame related to your ADHD? What Is Shame? One way some have come to understand shame is to distinguish it from guilt….

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    Anger Management Tips For Adults With ADHD

    ByMarla Cummins ADHD Emotional Regulation, Blog

      Anger in itself is not bad, of course. We all get angry at times. It is a signal that something is off, and we need to figure out how to address the issue. Like many adults with ADHD, you may find you feel your emotions, including anger, very intently. As a result you may act on your anger before you’ve given yourself a chance to decide how you really want to express it. So, you may walk away, send an email or blurt out something before you’ve had a chance to ask yourself, “Do I want to say or do this?” And then afterwards you may think, “I wish I wouldn’t have…” But it is already out there, and you can’t take it back….

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    ADHD and The Mindset For Success

    ByMarla Cummins ADHD Emotional Regulation, Blog

    After reading Carol Dweck’s book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success I’ve spent a great deal of time pondering the impact of adopting a particular mindset. I have always said that I’m not very good at drawing, math or singing and a whole host of other activities. At some point I convinced myself that I can’t clap to a beat. So, now I don’t clap. Really. When I share this with someone a version of the following conversation might ensue. Other person: “Sure, you can clap.” Me: “No, really, I can’t clap.” Other Person: “Give it a try…” Me: “No, I can’t try. I can’t clap.” Somewhere along the way I adopted a fixed mindset when it comes clapping. What if I had embraced a…

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    ADHD And Steps To A Growth Mindset

    ByMarla Cummins ADHD Emotional Regulation, Blog

    If you have not read my last post, ADHD and The Mindset For Success, I suggest giving that a read before continuing on. In that post I shared a little bit about the difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset. And suggested that having a growth mindset is a key part of working effectively with your ADHD. I’m pretty sure most of you will buy into this suggestion. But just buying into the idea is certainly not enough to be able to develop one. You knew that… If you are interested, though, there are steps you can take to develop a growth mindset. Change Your Internal Dialogue What kind of internal dialogue do you have now? When things go wrong for you does…

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    ADHD and Limiting Beliefs – How to Counter Them

    ByMarla Cummins ADHD Emotional Regulation, Blog

    We all have beliefs about how things should be. And after a while we come to believe that is just the way life is. What is most problematic is when we act based on beliefs that limit us from reaching our goals. I know from my own personal experience and work over the years with clients that, if left unchecked, there are certain beliefs that can hold adults with ADHD back from successfully reaching their potential. If you hold one or more of the beliefs listed below, you may decide that you are just not capable or “good enough.” But wait, it is not all gloom and doom! Luckily, there are ways to counter these mindsets so they do not get in the way of…

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    ADHD and Waiting For Motivation

    ByMarla Cummins ADHD Emotional Regulation, Blog

    Here is a conundrum. We know that getting started or initiating tasks, even those that hold some interest, is a challenge for many adults with ADHD. So, what do you do when you have a task to do and you are “just not feeling it”? When the task holds no interest for you in the moment it can feel almost impossible to try to push onward. Fortunately, there are some workarounds you can try to make it easier. Checking It Out First check in with yourself. Explore how procrastination may be playing a part and possible ways of addressing it. Also, consider whether part of your challenge is that you are working against your ADHD. If this is the case, maybe it is time to…

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    The First Step To Stop ADHD Rumination

    ByMarla Cummins ADHD Emotional Regulation, Blog

    (originally published July 31, 2009, updated April 15, 2021) Rumination. Racing thoughts. Stuck thinking. Worrying. Perseverating. These are just some of the names adults with ADHD use when referring to their inability to move on from thoughts that are causing them a great deal of distress and not serving them in any productive way. ADHD rumination is real and can get in your way. For example, maybe you blurted out something in your meeting with your colleague, Ali, you now regret. Now, not only are you replaying the scenario over and over, but you’re also thinking about the potential for any future fallout. You may wonder whether Ali will want to work with you on future projects, whether this will affect your chances of promotion…

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    You Don’t Have To Be a Firefighter to Stop the Fire Drills!

    ByMarla Cummins ADHD Emotional Regulation, Blog

    Some rights reserved by lhuiz The fire drills… You know. Those are the times when something because so urgent that your focus is entirely on that task, possibly to the exclusion of other more important items in your life. Your brain get hijacked and you get on the truck, put on the siren and careen out of whatever space you had been occupying. You are going so fast that you do not even notice the passing landscape of upset people, undone tasks and missed appointments. You are so focused on that “thing”  that seems so important that everything is a blur. Sometimes, when I am in this mode, which some call hyperfocus, I really enjoy it.  Especially when it involves a creative project that is…