No, I am not referring to dating. Though, if that is what you are looking for, by all means, go for it! Rather, I am asking you, if you want to make positive connections with people who through their actions or just their presence in your life provide you with support.
It is all too easy in the hurriedness of our daily life to forget the value of nurturing our important relationships with family and friends. Though we may say that these people are important to us, the “task” of maintaining these relationships is often the first that goes by the wayside.
Hmm… The last few weeks I have mentioned the tendency of those with AD/HD to get caught up in “the here and now” because tomorrow is a “long way away.” So, today is tomorrow from the perspective of yesterday. Maybe it is the day to start.
What do you want to do today to reach out to those people in your life that matter to you?
Sustaining positive connections with others in order to fulfill your own emotional needs is an important factor in being at your best, not only to subjectively feel good, but also to reach your goals.
There have been plenty of studies that have posited the positive effects of maintaining healthy relationship. I also think that the wisdom of these studies is commonly accepted. In fact, most people would place healthy relationship as one of their top priorities.
Yet, while staying authentically connected to family and friends is critical to your health, it can be quite a challenging for someone with ADHD for some of the following reasons:
- Perhaps, you feel overwhelmed by all that you currently have on your plate, including the tasks included in reaching your important goals, that you do not feel that you have the time and space in your life for socializing.
- When you do socialize, it may feel like an ordeal because of the challenge of fully participating in the give and take of a conversation. Sometimes, it may take effort to focus and follow all of the threads of the conversation.
- Conversely, you may find yourself dominating conversations due your impulsive nature.
- Maybe, you are unsure how to regulate your behavior in the moment, rather than feel shame after reflecting on your interactions. In response to this discomfort, you may decide to limit your social interactions.
- At times, it can feel like it takes too much effort to attend to your relationships and be the person that you want to be, that you stop trying.
While the above is all true, when we are happier and more content, we have more energy and creativity to pursue our goals, in spite of the challenges. We know that meaningful relationships are one of the primary ingredients in leading the kind of life that we want.
If you are not able to counter the challenges of maintaining relationships on your own, perhaps it is time to engage the help of a therapist or coach to help you navigate this potentially tricky terrain.
What is it worth to you?