Strategies to help ADHD adults manage emotional intensity, reactivity, and overwhelm — with compassion and skill.
While dealing with the challenges of ADHD you are likely to experience many different emotions and feelings. Yet, I often hear from clients some variation of the following when they are talking about their feelings. “But this is coaching, so I probably shouldn’t go into this too much.” Somewhere along the way many of us got the message that taking care of our feelings and moving toward our goals are incompatible. Not true.
Some rights reserved by lhuiz The fire drills… You know. Those are the times when something because so urgent that your focus is entirely on that task, possibly to the exclusion of other more important items in your life. Your brain get hijacked and you get on the truck, put on the siren and careen out of whatever space you had been occupying. You are going so fast that you do not even notice the passing landscape of upset people, undone tasks and missed appointments. You are so focused on that “thing” that seems so important that everything is a blur. Sometimes, when I am in this mode, which some call hyperfocus, I really enjoy it. Especially when it involves a creative project that is…
Yes, our brains can hold information. If you can give me time, I can rattle off dates in US History to impress you at a party. This is not very helpful, though, if I forget milk for breakfast, and we want to eat cereal in the morning. It is not very helpful, if I forget to pay my registration for my car on time. It is certainly not helpful, if I forget to contact a prospective client in a timely manner.
Holding Judgment Whenever I go to a movie I have to remind myself to suspend my disbelief. When I catch myself thinking something like, “that would never happen,” I stop. And remind myself that, if I could let go, and immerse myself in the moment, something may resonates with me. If I allow this to happen, I might feel differently or think differently for a bit. Maybe I just have a really good laugh. When I forget to let go, I miss out.
I am a worrier – my ability to focus my attention on the worry de jour is really quite exceptional. While people who know me well, already know this, others are often surprised to learn this. As you know, having difficulty being able to focus when and where you want is one of the hallmark symptoms of ADD. And feeling inordinately anxious, stressed or worried can make it only harder to concentrate where you want. I will always be a worrier, but there are several strategies that I use that allow me to move through these times more quickly, so that my ability to attend to other aspects of my life is not severely compromised. I offer these to you.
Today is Martin Luther King Day. It is a day when we not only remember the legacy of MLK, but it is also a day when we remember that there is still work to do to make this a truly just world. Tomorrow Barak Obama will be inanugrated as the first African American president. Yes, it is monumentally historic, but our collective work is not done, yet. Today and tomorrow are about hope, as much as they are about the results of a dream. While I am realistic about the challenges that we face as a nation, I am hopeful, though. I am hopeful because, regardless of the speed or results of the changes, we may once again be a country based on values that…