Marla Cummins

ADHD Coach and Productivity Consultant

Wonder How Your Procrastination is Related to Your ADHD?

by

procrastination and adhd

If you are like most Adults with ADHD, I bet procrastination ranks right up there in the top 3 behaviors you would like to change.

While I’m not much of a betting person, I can be confident of this because I hear concerns, such as the ones below, all the time:

  • “I am always finding something else to work on instead of what is important.”
  • “I said I was going to do it and I didn’t. I can’t believe I keep doing this!”
  • “Maybe I’m just lazy and I need someone to force me to work.”

Sound familiar?

If these statements ring true for you, I would also wager that in most instances you are also well aware of the stakes involved. And that probably makes your procrastination even more maddening for you…

Good news. Even if you are a diehard procrastinator now, you can change this.

Are you in?

The first step is figuring out the reasons for your procrastination.

Yes, I know this will not immediately solve your problem. But understanding your particular flavor of procrastination will help you create solutions that are best suited for you.

So, that is where we’re going to start.

First, A Primer

If you already have a good understanding of your ADHD related challenges, feel free to skip down to the next section.

If you need a bit of review, check out Dr. Thomas Brown’s model below. You may also want to refer back to this model as you are reading the rest of the article.

OK, ready?

I Don’t Want to Fail…

Failing is part of life. How many times have you heard that?! More times than you care to, I bet.

Yet, as is true for most people, fear of failing is likely one of the top three reasons you put off doing something as a means of delaying the anticipated failure.

True, in the long run, procrastination will work against you. You know that.

But in the moment, doing something else, anything else, sure feels better that tackling a task you’re just not sure you can handle. And, no doubt, this fear of failure is magnified for you because of your past missteps related to your ADHD.

What are you putting off because you just don’t think you can cut it?

What if I Succeed?

Alternatively, you may procrastinate because you are afraid of succeeding. Really. Along with fear of failing, this is one of the top three reasons people procrastinate.

Because of a history of inconsistent performance you may be reticent to tackle a task because you are afraid:

  • you will not be able to replicate your initial success.
  • you will be expected to perform at that new level and don’t think you can sustain the necessary effort.
  • you will be expected to keep doing better and better, and the anticipated pressure is just too daunting.

Where are you playing small because of your fear of succeeding?

You Can’t Make Me!

And to round off the top three reasons people procrastinate is… RESISTANCE.

You may resist doing a task because you are hurt, angry or resentful, which can be magnified by your ADHD related challenges with managing your frustration level.

So, when your brain is hijacked by these emotions, thoughts like the ones below swirl about in your head like a tornado:

  • “I can’t believe he is asking me to do that! I have too much work already!”
  • “I just want to relax!”
  • “It’s not my job!”
  • “She didn’t help me when I needed help!”

I’m sure you can think of other reasons you resist doing particular tasks.

What is a recent instance where you resisted doing a task because you were hurt, angry or resentful?

I’ll Do That…Some Time

Beyond the top 3 reasons, you may also procrastinate because of your poor sense of time – one of your ADHD symptoms.

It starts when you write another task down on the sticky note next to your computer, while mumbling:

  • “I’ll have to get to that.”
  • “I don’t need to do that now.”
  • “I should do that soon.”

Uh…so, when are you going to do it? If pushed for an answer, “not now” is often the best answer you can come up with in the moment.

This is, in part, because, as an Adult with ADHD, your sense of time is often binary. That is, for you there is now and not now. So, you keeping thinking, “I should do that…soon.”

And, as you turn your attention to something else, not now turns into whenever, one of the key ingredients in the makings of procrastination extraordinaire.

Hmm…I’m Just Not Sure

What can also muddy the waters and lead to putting off a task is when you are not clear about some aspect of the task, such as:

  • what the very next action is or even where to start.   .
  • how to do some part of the task.
  • what the task will look like when you are done, your objective.
  • the criteria for making decisions about the task along the way.

Your ADHD challenges related to planning and prioritizing likely contribute to your difficulties with adding specificity and clarity to your tasks.

So, whenever the task comes to mind you think, “I need to do that…”

Yet, because of the lack of clarity, you continue to gloss over it in the moment and procrastinate.

There Goes the Fly

While lack of clarity can lead to procrastination, internal and external distractions can make matters worse.

You know …the nagging thoughts, emails, phone calls, texts, knocks at the door that pull at you until you end up feeling like a spinning top.

So, you end up not doing what you set out to do, what you said was important, because you are doing whatever crosses your path

There goes the fly… and there goes whatever it was you said you were going to do.

I Don’t Wanna…

Maybe the task holds zero, zilch, zip, nada, nothing in terms of interest for you.

Sounds like an obvious reason for procrastination, right? And, sure, lack of interest could be a reason anyone might resist doing something.

But, remember, lack of interest can make any task a nonstarter for adults with ADHD. So, for you it really needs to be highlighted and addressed when it comes to procrastination.

Running on Empty

You may not think of running on empty as a reason for procrastinating. But you should.

Because when your body and brain aren’t up to the task due to of lack of sleep, food, water, meds, exercise etc., you will be likely to put off doing something you intended to do.

The car just isn’t going to move when it is out of gas.

And you also aren’t going to be able to move on something when you are running low on fuel.

Next Steps For You

Here is what you can do now.

  1. As you go about your daily tasks, notice when you are not doing something you said you were going to do.
  2. Refer back to this list, and try to figure what is getting in your way.
  3. Keep a procrastination journal, listing what you put off and why.

Then stay tuned for the next post where I’ll offer you solutions.

Look forward to connecting with you then.

Could this info help someone in your circles? Pass it along!

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Marla has an excellent understanding of ADHD and a great knowledge base of related topics. She was able to expertly guide me through decisions I needed to make and helped me tackle big and small things I needed to do. Knowing I had adhd was only 25% of the battle for me. I’m so glad that I chose to stay committed to coaching. Now that I have more self awareness about myself and my adhd I trust myself to get what I need done. I don’t try to do too much anymore and when I’ve done all I can on my own I’m more willing to reach out for support. My production is way higher than I expected, but I’m also way less stressed and that makes it easier on a personal level at home too.

— A.V., Vice President - Investment Sales

Coaching with Marla was very useful, and also essential. I do not know what I would have done w/o the Sunday night periods of going over the past week, looking forward to the next week, and making a plan. The actual phone check ins on Tuesdays…crucial, to help me get clear, as well as for the simple act of accountability. Marla served as a focal point (as in, ‘oh, yeah, this was what I was doing’), and–at times–as an anchor that grounded things. I can not imagine having had to go through the past 6 months w.o. someone ‘outside’ me, and my life, to help me stay the course. Now, I feel more confident in my abilities, in what I have to offer. I realize I do have options. How freeing! Lastly, but certainly not least, I have a very, very clear sense of my values, and I am using those to guide me, and that helps me to trust in my course.

— Cindy R., Writer and Editor

Before working with Marla I got by by winging it but I was not keeping up with the flow of information and I wasn’t managing my time productively. I was often reactive and overwhelmed. I didn’t even think I could be productive… Identifying where and why I was having struggles and having a person to help me through those was the most helpful. Marla is non-judgemental so when something didn’t go as expected, I felt OK talking to her about it and exploring different options to try.  She is a very good listener and is able to give helpful insights and suggestions. I truly enjoy our conversations. The outcome that I appreciate the most is that I feel more in control. Before there was always something I was forgetting to do or follow-up on. Now I think I have much better handle on things.  Also, I am able to focus more time on longer term projects so they don’t become a complete crisis when getting close to the due dates. This has eliminated the last minute rush that used to happen all the time. I am also just calmer. When I started to work with Marla I was at a point in my life that I was not satisfied with how my life was going. I wish I had done this earlier!

— M.P., Controller

What I gained from working with Marla was invaluable. Marla was consistently supportive, positive and uncritical. I learned to honor the way I work best, and am more accepting of my ADD and other characteristics. Now I ask myself, how can I get what I need to get done without running against my own personality? After learning more about ADD from Marla, I don’t think of my challenges as a personal weakness. This change in my thinking allows me to better handle my challenges by thinking of strategies to manage them, rather than engaging in self blame! Yes, cost was definitely a factor when I decided to work with Marla, but I knew that this is what good professionals charge. Being able to make choices that are right for me and learn strategies that last a life time is invaluable to me. The investment was certainly worth it. From working with Marla, I learned a lot about goal setting, meeting objectives, and doing that as a person with ADD. If you are stuck or frustrated, I would certainly hire Marla as a coach.

— C.O., Financial Manager

I have a lot more peace of mind, less stress, much less anxiety… I feel that we make progress in every session and always feel more confident that I am learning skills that will help me personally and professionally. I particularly like that I do not feel ashamed when I talk about areas I want to improve. Understanding that I wasn’t broken, and just think about things differently was key. Trying to learn the way non-ADHD people learn was a mistake I have repeated my whole life. I now know what the best environment is for me and can recognize distractions and noise immediately. I am now able to have way more confidence to let go of the recurring thoughts about tasks, because I have tools that remember for me. I drop a lot less balls. In fact, typically, if I don’t do something now, it’s because I consciously lowered it on my priority list. I couldn’t do that very well before. I used to just shut down and drop everything because the stress was so great. That never happens anymore. Thanks again for all your help.  Your coaching was probably the best investment I've ever made in me!

— T.D., Sales Professional

Together we identified obstacles that were preventing me from truly going after the job that I would be happiest in. I’m balancing a full workload (I currently have 4 part-time jobs), graduate school, and 15-20 hours of training as a competitive cyclist. For a few years, I was having trouble committing myself to finding a new job and this was, in turn, making it difficult for me to work toward my graduate degree. I recently overcame a major hurdle in my progress toward my degree and am in touch with an increasing pool of potential employers. Marla is a time management guru, to be sure, but her most unique skill is her ability to ask questions that help me to step outside of myself for a moment and take a hard look at my motivations and decision making processes. Her questions have helped me to become more independently active in that I now know how to ask myself the kinds of questions that Marla might ask me. Without Marla’s help, I probably would not be as far along in my job search as I am now and would still be far from finishing my degree. Thanks, Marla!

— Paul D., PhD Candidate / High-School Teacher

Through our work I clarified my goals, identified communication issues, fuzzy planning and established personal accountability. In working with Marla, I received practical organizing and planning techniques, inspiration and empowering suggestions.  Marla helped me work with each issue as developing life skills and emphasized personal responsibility. Marla is an excellent coach and compassionate, encouraging mirror. I recommend her without any reservations.

— Fred B., Business Consultant

The coaching worked so well because it was tailored just for me - not a cookie cutter type of experience. It was exactly what I needed! We identified and worked on my concerns - got at the root cause and figured out what I could do to make it better. I proved I am capable of growth and change. For one, my communication has improved through the different departments and with my own team. My email and task organization are better, too. I have more tools at my disposal to help with my organization which helps me feel more calm and settled, even when things start to get hectic at work. I have tried to be perfect for too long and it was causing me to focus on the wrong areas... I stopped thinking it is always my fault and I've started to develop a thicker skin when I do make a mistake. I can move on more quickly and stay focused on the current tasks instead of worrying unnecessarily. I am more confident in my abilities and I have learned how to stop worrying as often about things outside of my control. Marla did a wonderful job with everything. Everything we worked on I made improvements in!

— E.A., Human Resource Manager

Marla has been tremendously helpful in keeping me “on track” with important and complex projects during a time when I cannot afford to get lost. At the same time, she is helping me realize that while avocational goals are important, so too are relationships and personal fairness. In our last meeting, Marla helped me begin to tackle a lifelong misapprehension of time and how to gain control of it. More important than problems solved is my greater confidence in addressing problems and trying to solve them, rather than simply quitting because no resolution is apparent. Marla offers a non-judgemental, objective appreciation for the large and small difficulties and success that are not apparent to myself, and a way to order these things so that they can be confronted and appreciated, respectively. She has helped me see what appear to be insurmountable problems as just small impediments. Specifically, she has goaded me into making phone calls to people that I didn’t think would want to hear from me, and to do everything to keep communications channels open. She has also helped me by keeping a focus on the challenge I feel in organizing and constantly reviewing how to strike a balance between letting my schedule get out of control and focusing too intently on it and thus losing track of the bigger picture.

— Josh D., Professional Writer and Editor

Marla was my second coach. The first one did not really help me, so I was kind of skeptical. Marla’s help was astonishing. After only a few calls she seemed to have me figured out pretty well. She called me on empty promises, pushed me just enough never too much, and together we came up with tools that actually work and which I actually use. She has an uncanny ability to know how far she can push me without ticking me off. Thanks to that I never felt pressure to lie about or excuse what I had done or how I was doing. After living with ADD for many years I started believing that I was lazy, stupid, and crazy. Marla was able to convince me that I was none of these by helping me solve small issues and get a track record of success. Once those things were accomplished, many of the pieces sort of fell in to place.

— Marc D., Software Engineer

Marla’s support was critical in reducing anxiety after receiving the diagnosis of ADD. She imparts information in a warm, impartial, professional manner. Marla is always on your side and willing to work at your pace. At the same time, she challenges you to think about your daily decisions and how they impact your life, and your options for change, should you desire it. Marla helps you identify, prioritize, and focus on weaknesses in a nonjudgmental way and plants the seeds of ideas for you to follow up on, either immediately, or in the future when you’re ready. Above all, she compliments your strengths.

— Jane F., Parent

...while working with Marla, I have been able to move into a career that I have always wanted to be in. I spent many years with undiagnosed ADD not knowing why I had such difficulty with staying focused, starting projects and having difficulty finishing them, unable to prioritize what I needed to do in my life, and many of the other symptoms. I finally sought help through a physician who recommended taking medication. It was also suggested I find an ADD coach to help me re-learn new ways of managing my ADD. I contacted Marla, and after the first conversation I felt comfortable enough to give the coaching a try. After a few sessions working with Marla, she was able to help me start developing the goals and tools I needed to start clearing the clutter in my life. Today using the different techniques that I have learned while working with Marla, I manage my time more efficiently, and complete projects to the end. It is good to know that you do not need to make the journey alone with ADD. I look forward to working with Marla now and in the future.

— Chris E., Support Analyst

I've never felt as hopeful as I am now. Marla's reassuring voice and straightforward manner helped me to internalize a consistent approach to each problem. Before I was frazzled, couldn't do what I needed to do and felt like a fraud professionally. When things weren't working before I saw it as a personal failing. We figured out what I needed to do. And now stuff is not falling through my fingers and I'm not surprised by things that come up professionally. Every accomplishment felt reinforcing. I remind myself when I have organizational challenges now that it is my neurobiology, not me! I don't see myself as defective and am not ashamed anymore. I just think about the next step I need to do to figure it out.

— Deborah, Psychologist