(originally published March 11, 2018, updated March 10, 2023 )
What first comes to mind when you think of ADHD and mindfulness? Like many, you might first envision needing to sit still, meditating for long periods of time. And conclude that there’s no way you can do that. Maybe not. But mindfulness is so much more than just meditation.
And one of the most effective yet overlooked strategies ADHD adults need to operate effectively. That is, incorporating more mindfulness into your daily practice can help you be more often in alignment with your values and goals.
My best guess is it is often overlooked because it can be more difficult for ADHD adults to practice mindfulness for reasons I’ll cover below. But I think it’s worth the extra effort. Maybe that’s obvious since I’m writing this post. And you’ll only know if you try it out.
Read on to see how you might do that. I promise you will not have to sit cross-legged for hours! 😉
What Mindfulness Is Not
Frequently the goal of my work, whether coaching clients, facilitating groups, writing a blog, or producing a podcast, is to help people get from point A to point B.
Maybe it’s by helping them shift their perspective, adopt a new tool, utilize a different process, or by some other means. That is to say, I am often illustrating and encouraging people to take some action to close the gap between where they are now and where they want to be.
But mindfulness is not an active process. It is not goal oriented; there was no there to get to. It’s not about clearing your mind of all thoughts. It’s also not about being able to relax. Though, on occasion, if you are being mindful, you might experience one or both of these.
What is Mindfulness?
When you are mindful you are:
- paying attention to the present moment and what is happening in your mind, body, and immediate environment.
- not struggling with your thoughts or trying to avoid them.
- noticing compassionately without judgment.
- not worrying about the futureor thinking about what you could have done differently in the past.
That’s it!
If you’re not familiar with mindfulness, I know you may be wondering why you would want to do the above. Keep on reading. I’ll get to the answer to that in a bit.
Why Being Mindful Might Be A Challenge For ADHD Adults
While I know practicing mindfulness will help you, I also know your ADHD symptoms may make it hard to adopt a practice.
First, you may forget! Maybe because of your limited working memory capacity, which makes it challenging to juggle too much information at once, or because of your long-term memory challenges, which makes it hard to remember to do something in the future or recall information.
You may also encounter difficulty regulating your emotions, which is a chicken-and-egg problem. As practicing mindfulness will help you regulate your emotions. And your ADHD challenges regulating your emotions may make it harder to practice.
Other ADHD-related challenged you may have are starting and transitioning from one task to another. Because your gears have a tendency to get all gunked up, making it hard to execute even when it’s important to you.
Hopefully, knowing what might get in your way can help you expect and plan for these challenges. So you don’t give up on mindfulness just because you have ADHD.
Following the Squirrel Has Become a Habit
In addition to your ADHD-related challenges, another reason adopting a mindfulness practice may be difficult is that you have developed a habit of not being mindful.
That is, because of your ADHD, you may have a tendency to do whatever comes to mind, rather than following through with your intentions. And, of course, you will do more of what you are used to doing. Unless you work on operating differently. That makes sense, right?
At the same time, you know habits are hard to break. Keep that in mind as you begin the journey to becoming more mindful, operating differently. And be compassionate with yourself as you seek to become more mindful in the ways I describe below.
#1 Mindfully Choosing How to Use Your Time and Energy
Being productive means doing what is most important to you in alignment with your values and goals. But right now, when you are overwhelmed, you might react by working harder, longer, and faster, trying to do more of what you think you should be doing.
But never confident you are doing the right thing. So, you jump from task to task wondering, “Should I do… instead?” Of course, you are inefficient when you multitask like this.
A more helpful and mindful approach would be to decide what is essential to you – where you want to go big and make your highest contribution. Then choose the right activities that will allow you to go big in your chosen area.
Of course, you may need help identifying what is essential for you and what activities will allow you to do that. Because making these kinds of decisions and choices may be one of your ADHD-related challenges. Especially when there is so much you want to do or think you should do.
But, once you start practicing being an essentialist, you will more often be able to comfortably say, “I am doing this and not that!” As you will be more confident you are using your time and energy in alignment with what is most important to you.
Check out, How ADHD Adults Decide What Is Essential, to learn how you can start doing this. So you will be in a better position to respond and make better choices, rather than react to whatever comes your way.
#2 How Mindfulness Helps You Execute Better
The next step, of course, is executing, which in part because of your ADHD might be one of your challenges. Remember one of the central challenges for ADHD adults is not knowledge, but rather performance. Knowing what you need to do is just not enough.
Think about where you are procrastinating and are out of alignment with your values and goals now. What do you think is getting in your way of being and doing what you want? Is it because you are:
- afraid of failing.
- confused about what to do.
- not confident you will persist once you start.
- feeling ashamed because you are so late in delivering.
- frustrated
- overwhelmed
- other
Whatever the reason, you might default to fight, flight, or freeze mode to avoid a task that engenders these feelings. And, while these feelings might abate temporarily, they do come roaring back, right? And, like a pinball machine, ricochet around your brain, taking up time and energy.
An alternative is to learn to be with the inevitable highs and lows of life, including the uncomfortable feelings. Whether you are feeling happy, sad, angry, or some other emotion. That does not mean you have to like what is going on! 😉
And, as you learn to sit with whatever you are feeling, you will be able to make better choices.
To give you an idea, whenever I start a new post I feel some tension in my body. And usually, it is related to the fear I won’t have anything to say or that what I do have to say will not be useful. Even though I’ve been writing my blog since 2008! You might think the fear would go away. But it hasn’t.
I expect it to come, and when it does, I acknowledge it, “Oh there you are again.” I invite it to sit next to me, “Here you can sit on that chair over there.” And compassionately remind myself, “Writing is hard!” Then I write for about 45 minutes, whether it is hard or easy to do.
Being in the moment with my fears and not expecting or wanting it to be any other way allows me to move forward with my writing. Because fear is not running the show.
#3 Using Mindfulness to Regulate Your Emotions
Another way you can use mindfulness to address one of your other challenges related to your ADHD, regulating your emotions. You may become more easily dysregulated, ruminate for longer periods and act more impulsively on your feelings.
To show you what I mean, think of the last time you exploded with anger, sadness, or frustration, seemingly out of nowhere. And then later regretted or even felt ashamed of what you said or did subsequently. While your ADHD may mean you are predisposed to dysregulation, it has also become a habitual way of responding.
Practicing mindfulness can help you better manage these tendencies by replacing your habitual way of responding. So, instead of being reactive, you can respond to your feelings the way you want.
Notice
The first step is to connect your emotions with the sensations in your body. For example, when you are frustrated you might feel butterflies in your stomach, pressure in your chest, tension in your muscles, or some other sensation. What is it for you?
Be Curious
Once you notice these cues in the moment, the second step is to be curious about the thoughts and feelings underlying the sensations in your body. Here’s an example of how you might do that.
You start to think about the meeting you have scheduled with your colleague tomorrow. Your chest feels tight. You sit with this for a minute. On reflection, you realize you have been stewing. Because you think your colleague is not pulling their weight and is taking advantage of you. As these thoughts surface you feel frustrated and angry at your colleague.
Breathe
The third step is to pause and breathe. Just be with the sensations in your body, thoughts, and feelings. That is, don’t take any action. The power of being mindful in this way is that you don’t get hooked by your feelings and ruminate.
Maybe Take Action
Your thoughts and feelings may be fleeting if you let them be. And you may not need to do anything. For instance, you may decide you’re just feeling overwhelmed by your workload. And your colleague is pulling their weight.
Alternatively, you may want to take the fourth step, take action, as long as it is motivated by a desire to change the situation. And not because you are just impulsively reacting to your thoughts and feelings. For example, you may decide to talk to your colleague about negotiating a different workload.
How Mindfulness Helps ADHD Adults Make Better Choices
I know you want to do what is most important to you, be productive. But, if you’re attempting to do this by working harder, longer, and faster, you may still not feel very productive, right? That is, you’re not operating the way you want.
While certainly not the only answer to this conundrum, incorporating mindfulness practices like those above will help you more often be in alignment with your values and goals.
Where would you like to start experimenting today?
