If you are playing a big game, and by necessity experimenting with different strategies and tools to meet your goals, rather than playing it safe, you know that you cannot get it right 100% of the time. When you push your limits you will inevitably hit some speed bumps along the way.
When you have a setback, you can choose to see it as a cautionary sign to slow down or as an excuse to come to a complete stop. If you are prone to adopt the common ADD tendency to think in terms of black and white, you may think that there are only two options when you hit a barrier; you can go full speed ahead and just try harder or give up. Going full speed ahead when your plan is not working will likely land you in more trouble. While giving up will, uhm, get you nowhere.
Being able to recognize your temporary setbacks as speed bumps, rather than seemingly insurmountable walls, will help you recalibrate and get back on track more quickly. By adopting the perspective that you have several options when your current strategy is not working you will be in a better position to see that there several alternative paths. The first step is to acknowledge what is working.
ACKNOWLEDGE AND CELEBRATE YOUR SUCCESS
Being aware of what is working is a critical part of moving toward your goal. As noted before, black and white thinking can act like glue; you get stuck in one way of thing and are not able to expand your mind to see what is possible. So, when some things are not going well, you may adopt the mindset of “the sky is falling.”
To offset this reaction, it is important to review your progress, and remind yourself of what is going right. One benefit of reminding yourself of your successes is that it can provide you with the motivation you need to keep going, as you can look back and see that, while some steps toward your goal are not working as well you would like, there are some parts that are working.
In addition, by highlighting your successes you will be able to use these instances as evidence of that you are indeed competent. Seeing yourself as competent is a fundamental component of being able to continue striving toward your goals, in spite of the inevitable setbacks. Rather than defining yourself by your failures, you can see that you are capable of making choices and taking actions that will help you reach your goals.
Once you capture what is going right, you have the opportunity to be more deliberate in incorporating those strategies, tools, perspectives and/or behaviors that are helping you move forward, in spite of the perceived barriers.
Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it’s not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won’t. it’s whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere. ~ Barack Obama