It has been quite some time since I have thought about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
It came to mind as I was thinking about Dr. Hallowell and his writings about the importance of connection in treating ADD.
Then I started thinking about my own need to for connection.
Recharging vs. Connecting
I began questioning my need to connect with others two weeks ago, when I spent a wonderful weekend with old friends from my time in Israel. I had really been looking forward to this weekend.
I thought, how could I not want to spend every minute with my friends?!?
We were together on and off for 5 days. At one point we were together for 48 hours straight. As much as I was enjoying my time, I was also getting a bit antsy.
In the midst of the weekend, I had a conversation with one of my friends, who is an total extrovert. She could have spent every minute with us. Through our conversation I was reminded that we were just different in how we connected with others, and that was ok.
Do I need less connection than my friend? The answer was unequivocally, no. The way I spend time connecting with others just looks different.
Eventually I took a much needed break during the course of the weekend.
And I have gone out every night for the past 5 days. This works for me, as I can recharge during the day. (If you read my previous post, Who Else Wants to be Productive?, you know that my daughter is at an overnight camp.)
Need For Connection
Plenty of experts have demonstrated the positive effects of maintaining healthy relationships. You probably accept their wisdom as fact. You might even say that having healthy relationships is one of your top priorities.
It is one of mine.
After all, sustaining positive connections with others in order to fulfill your own emotional needs is one of the most important factors in being at your best. When you are at your best or at least in a good place, you are better able to progress toward your goals more efficiently and effectively.
Dr. Edward Hallowell, an expert on ADD, notes that our connection with others is critical to our well being. It is so important that “making sure you keep up regular contact with a few good friends” is included on his list as one of the seven habits of highly effective adults with ADD.
But the experts probably did not have to tell you how important connections with other are for your well being. Though a reminder every now and then doesn’t hurt; I know I need it.
My commitment is to get a sitter at least 2x a month, so that I can go out just with other adults.
Is there anything you will commit to doing so that you can successfully stay connected to friends and family?
If you want more authentic connections with others, what different choices do you need to make?
Stay tuned for my next post when I’ll share some of the challenges of staying connected for those with ADD, as well as some tips to address this.