Why ADHD Adults Struggle at Work (It’s Not What You Think)

Episode Summary:

Are you struggling at work and wondering if it means you’re just not cut out for your job?

In this episode, we’re looking at a different way to understand why work might not be going well, especially for adults with ADHD.

You’ll learn why many ADHD adults default to blaming themselves when their performance is suffering, and how that conclusion often overlooks other important factors.

We’ll explore how success at work is influenced not just by your abilities, but also by the role you’re in, the expectations placed on you, and the environment you’re working in.

Through real-life examples, you’ll see how the same person can perform very differently depending on factors like pace, structure, workplace dynamics, and level of support.

You’ll also be introduced to a simple way to think about your own situation so you can better understand what’s actually contributing to your challenges and what options you may have.

If you’ve been assuming your struggles at work are entirely your fault, this episode will help you take a step back and see the bigger picture.

What You’ll Learn About ADHD and Job Challenges:

• Why ADHD adults often default to blaming themselves when they struggle at work
• How work performance is influenced by role expectations, environment, and structure, not just ability
• Why being good at your job doesn’t always translate into success in every workplace
• How factors like pace, interruptions, and workplace dynamics can impact your ability to perform
• Three key questions to help you assess your situation and decide what to change, accept, or do next

Transcript:

(00:03):

If you’re not thriving at work, it’s easy often for ADHD adults to assume that it must be all their fault, but in my experience, that’s just not true. The problem, rather, is usually a mismatch between yes, the person, the role, and the environment.

You’ve tuned into Re-imagining Productivity with ADHD podcast for ADHD adults like you who want to learn how to adopt the best strategies, tools, and skills to be able to get your essential work done in a way that works with the way your brain is wired.

I’m Marla Cummins, an ADHD coach and executive function coach, and I’m glad you decided to join me today on this journey toward finding your way to doing what matters most to you without trying to do it like everyone else.

(00:58):

It’s not unusual, as I said before, for adults with ADHD to default to blaming themselves when they’re not doing well at work. You too? It always surprises me when this happens because there are so many factors involved in whether people do well at work or not.

Yet, I get why this might be the default mode for some adults with ADHD. After all, if you have a history of missing the mark and being told you can and should do better, you may have internalized the belief that you and you alone are what causes the earth to revolve around the sun. Okay, just kidding about that one, but you get it.

In my coaching experience, I have found that there is always a need for my clients to upgrade their executive functioning skills, and as they do that, we almost always discover that there are also other elements that are contributing to their challenges at work.

(02:00):

Let’s get into looking at what those might be by looking at the experience of some people I’ve come across, including myself. As I share these stories, I’d like you to think about your own situation at work and ask yourself what is contributing to your challenges.

It’s likely a combination of several factors, and you might not be able to untangle all of the various factors by yourself. So if that’s the case, consider who might be a good thought partner for you, somebody who can be both supportive and maintain some objectivity.

You certainly don’t want somebody who’s just gonna be a cheerleader or someone who’s going to point out all of your shortcomings. It might be a family member, friend, therapist, or coach who can help you see more clearly what might be going on for you. Okay, onto the stories.

I worked with a client who was a software engineer in a very fast-paced startup.

(03:04): Can A Start-Up Environment Work For ADHD Software Engineers

She was really strong at the core work. She could think deeply, solve complex problems, and contributed real value to the team. Her manager actually recognized that. She was valued for what she brought, but the environment she was working in also required something very different.

It was constant task switching, dropping one thing, picking up another, responding to messages throughout the day, fast turnaround expectations, and very little uninterrupted time to actually think.

And that’s where things started to break down. Not because she didn’t understand the work or wasn’t capable, but because the way the work had to get done just didn’t match how she does her best thinking.

Again, she could absolutely do the technical part, but the pace and the structure of the environment meant she was always behind, always interrupted, always trying to catch up.

And even though her manager saw her value, there just wasn’t any flexibility in how the work was organized. That was just how the system functioned.

So over time, it became clear that this wasn’t something she could adjust her way out of. The issue again wasn’t ability, it was the fit between how she worked best and what the environment required.

(04:32): When Workplace Politics Make It Hard To Succeed

The next example I want to share with you comes from someone I know outside of my coaching practice, and it really stayed with me.

He’s very good at what he does. He works as a corporate trainer and coach, and he’s genuinely skilled at it.

What’s also important is the kind of person he is. He’s hardworking, very relational, and tends to assume that there’s a way to figure things out. He invests in relationships and tries to make things work in almost any environment. Those are exactly the kinds of qualities you’d think you’d want in a manager or team member.

But at one point, he was promoted to a management role. He didn’t ask for it, and he didn’t really want it, but he was told essentially it was this or nothing.

So there wasn’t much choice or agency in how he stepped into that role.

And what he walked into was a politically complicated environment.

(05:30):

There were existing relationships and alliances within the team. His manager didn’t seem to want him in the role, and one of the team members didn’t want to report to him, and those two people were also personally connected, which shaped the dynamics even further.

So even though he had strong skills, strong relational ability, and was trying to approach it collaboratively, the structure around him was really misaligned from the start.

And at some point, he just reached a point where he decided to name what was actually going on. He went to his manager and very directly called a spade a spade about the dynamics he was seeing and experiencing.

The jury is still out, but the tide seems to be turning because of his honesty.

And I know that’s not something everyone feels able to do, but he decided that the situation just wasn’t tenable. So if things weren’t going to change, he would need to leave, and he had an exit plan.

The larger issue, again, wasn’t effort or capability; it was the structure, the lack of real agency in how he entered the role, and the politically complex environment in which he had to operate.

(06:55): Why ADHD Teachers Struggle At Work

The next example I want to share is a more personal example. It’s about me. Like a lot of people, I ended up in my first profession, teaching, without a very clear sense of direction. My parents were both teachers, so I went through a post-baccalaureate program, got certified, and moved into the classroom.

In training, in student teaching, things went reasonably well. I had smaller amounts of responsibility, and it felt manageable.

But my first full-time job was a very different experience.

I was in a middle school with an open floor plan where classrooms were divided by panels rather than walls, so there was constant noise. I could hear everything around me all day, including the Spanish class next to me singing “Hola, hola, Coca-Cola.”

Anyway, at the same time, I was responsible for 25 to 30 students, with transitions, interruptions, and constant shifting attention demands.

And then outside of class, there was grading and lesson planning, and very little downtime to actually think.

And just to be clear, what the kids were doing was completely developmentally appropriate. They weren’t doing anything wrong. That’s what middle schoolers are like.

This really is one of those “it’s not you, it’s me” instances.

And because the issue wasn’t the students, it was a constant combination of attention demands, noise, transitions, and the need to manage learning and behavior all at the same time, all day long. I was in an environment where the demands just simply exceeded what I could sustainably manage in that format.

At the time, it never occurred to me that the environment might be part of the problem. I just assumed this is what teaching was, and I needed to figure it out.

So I tried to adapt. I moved from middle school to high school thinking this will be better.

Then I stayed in teaching for several more years, and while I was competent enough to remain in the job, I was also consistently stressed and drained. And while high school was a bit better, my problems persisted; I was always stressed.

Eventually, I decided teaching just wasn’t for me anymore.

That decision surprised people around me, especially my parents, who saw teaching as a stable career.

And even then, when I made that decision, I didn’t immediately have a clear sense of what I would do next. I just knew that the structure of that work wasn’t working for me.

It was while I was teaching that I sought out an evaluation and received my ADHD diagnosis. Things began to make more sense.

Over time, I realized a few important things. One, I like teaching, and I’m actually pretty good at it, but I work much better in environments that allow for focus, reflection, one-on-one interactions or groups where people are proactively seeking out what I have to offer. That eventually led me into coaching, which has been a much better fit for me.

Looking back, what I experienced as a personal failing was really a mismatch between how my attention works and what the environment required all day long.

(10:22):

Anyway, what I hope you’re taking away from these scenarios is that being able to thrive at work depends on many factors, some that are within your control and some that really aren’t. It might be the ethos of the workplace, the politics and the alignments, the pace, the physical environment, or just the nature of the type of job.

So, as I leave you for today, I want you to consider three questions. What do you have agency to try to change? What part of your job just is what it is? And last, what’s your next move?

That’s it for now, and if you want to continue to learn how to work with your ADHD, sign up for my biweekly newsletter. You’ll get time tested ADHD friendly strategies and resources from me straight to your inbox. You’ll also receive a complimentary guide I created titled “Six Common Planning Mistakes Adults with ADHD Make and How to Avoid Them.”

You can find the link in the podcast description, or you can go to marla cummins.com/planning to sign up and get the guide.

Until next time, this has been Re-Imagining Productivity with ADHD. I’m Marla Cummins, reminding you that ADHD doesn’t define you, but how you work with it can shape what’s possible.

ADHD Adults and Challenges at Work Resources:

• Learn how to plan better with my Free Guide: 6 Common Planning Mistakes Adults with ADHD Make.
• Learn about job accommodation resources through the Job Accommodation Network.

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