As I wrote about last week in The Power of Putting On The Brakes, sometimes I find myself so focused on what is in front of me, I forget to slow down. One of the downsides of going too fast is not being efficient and effective.
But another downside is that I forget to live intentionally, in the moment.
Yes, adults with ADHD have a tendency to live in the moment. There is now and not now. Often when this happens, though, it is unintentional. There is no planning or awareness of the consequences of living in the moment.
True, if this is our primary way of being, we may not do the necessary planning to reach our goals.
But if we are always trying to fix ourselves and focus on our future, we may miss living our life the way we want.
When I think about living intentionally in the moment, I think about a type of mindfulness that allows me to make choices everyday that support my values.
It doesn’t always work.
It certainly isn’t always easy.
Put Down the Hammer and Nails
When people inquire about my services, they are usually in “fix it mode.” Makes sense. They would not call, if everything was running smoothly.
I get it.
But, we also need time to:
- celebrate our accomplishments.
- be grateful for what we do have.
- spend time doing what we enjoy and value.
- just be.
Because constantly being in the doing mode can be tiring and demoralizing. It can seem like we will never get there.
There begins to feel is so elusive.
How to Put Away The Toolbox
What helps me to put away the toolbox is knowing that always doing can actually be counterproductive. My outlook becomes cloudy, and even negative, when I focus too much on the future. And it is hard for me to do my best work when I am not in a good frame of mind.
I need to:
- spend time with my friends and family.
- have down time.
- aimlessly do whatever comes to mind.
- have fun
Knowing that putting down the toolbox is “good for you” is only part of the answer.
The other part of the equation is having a clearly defined time set aside to do, plan and work toward your future. By doing this
- you will not fall into the trap of living mindlessly in the here and now.
- you can rest a little easier knowing that you have specific times set aside to work.
How do you balance being with doing?
ADDed Perspectives Bottom Line
You are not broken and do not need to be fixed. Yet, you may need to learn new skills and strategies in order to make the path to reaching your goals easier. While this process of learning takes time, it does not need to take all your time.
Need help getting out of “fix it mode” and creating more balance? Contact me. We can discuss your needs and explore how I may be able to help you.