How ADHD Adults Can Create Motivation Without Urgency

Episode Summary:

Relying on urgency to get things done is common for ADHD adults. It makes sense given your brain wiring. But it can also become a habit that adds stress, limits progress on long-term goals, and leaves you feeling behind.

In this episode, I walk you through why urgency feels motivating, when it works, and when it backfires. And how to build motivation in other ways, so you have more than one path into action.

Then you’ll begin to create steadier momentum, feel more in control of your time. And make progress without needing that last-minute pressure.

What You’ll Learn About ADHD and Using Urgency For Motivation:

• Why urgency feels motivating for ADHD adults and how executive function challenges play a role.
• The hidden costs of relying on urgency including stress, inconsistency, and stalled long-term goals.
• When urgency can actually be useful and how to use it intentionally rather than by default.
• How planning, supports, and small visible steps can create motivation without pressure.
• Ways to initiate and follow through when urgency isn’t the optimal strategy.

Transcript – ADHD and Urgency

(00:02):

Do you need urgency to get started? But then maybe you can’t get started because you just can’t muster the urgency, as everything feels urgent at once. And you might get stuck in decision paralysis?

You’ve tuned into Reimagining Productivity with ADHD, a podcast for ADHD adults like you who want to learn how to adopt the best strategies, tools, and skills to be able to get your essential work done in a way that works with the way your brain is wired. I’m Marla Cummins, an ADHD, executive function and productivity coach. And I’m glad you decided to join me today on this journey toward finding your way to doing what matters most to you without trying to do it like everyone else.

It’s not uncommon for ADHD adults to try to rely on their sense of urgency to guide decisions regarding how to use their time and energy.

(00:56): Why ADHD Adults Use Urgency For Motivation

If that’s true for you, you may find you often ask yourself, “What is the most urgent thing I need to do?” And it makes sense, for sure. And I’ll get to why that is in a moment. As a result, though, you may inadvertently be sacrificing progress on your more long-term goals. And contributing to the likelihood that you’ll need to lean into urgency down the road as well. Because what you’re putting off today may eventually become urgent.

I know that this is probably obvious to you. I bet it may feel like a catch-22. That is, you have too much on your plate right now. You need to tend to what is immediately in front of you that needs to get done. And you may feel that you just don’t have time to pay attention to what is due weeks or months from now, or maybe even just next week.

(01:47): Planning and Estimating Time Is Hard For ADHD Adults

Let’s start this exploration by looking at how your ADHD may be contributing to your tendency to use urgency to guide your decisions. It may have started because of the difficulties you experience with your various ADHD executive function challenges. I know these are all very familiar to you, but let’s review some of them in no particular order.

First, you may have difficulties constructing and sequencing all the necessary steps in the correct order to reach the goal. Maybe because you forgot some, or maybe others just never came to mind. Because of this challenge, you may just jump in anywhere, never really creating a concrete plan, and then, as you go along and get closer to the due date, you may realize you’re missing parts. So then you need to circle back and maybe even redo some elements of the task.

The other challenge you may have as part of this planning process is that your sense of time may be a little wonky.

(02:53): Initiating Is a Challenge for ADHD Adults

That is, you may have challenges with estimating time. You may underestimate or overestimate how long something will likely take. So when something feels like it’s way too far in the future, it just may not occur to you to start planning and working on it now, especially if you also think it won’t take that long. Of course, as you know, something that feels like it’s in the distant future right now at some point, well, isn’t. But you may say to yourself in that moment, “No need to think about that now. I have plenty on my plate. I’ll get to that later.” Not really knowing when later is, though.

Alternatively, you may put off deciding when to start because you overestimate how long it’s going to take, in part because of challenges with emotional regulation. So when you think about it, it just feels too daunting, and you put it off, even just not thinking about it.

(03:51):

That brings us to the challenge of initiating or starting, which, of course, can be a result of your difficulties with planning and time. Because when you have challenges with planning and estimating time, that lack of clarity can introduce just enough friction to stop you in your tracks.

Your challenges with emotional regulation can also get in the way of starting and persisting, as if any aspect of the task brings up frustration, anger, or maybe even sadness, you may put off starting. Also, remember that the lack of interest can be one of the biggest blockers for ADHD adults.

Because of all of these ADHD challenges, you may be prone to putting things off until urgency kicks in and lights a fire for you—when dopamine is released—so that you can get started and perhaps even get it in on time, though it may not be your best work.

While using urgency to motivate you to get started may have developed because of your ADHD challenges—that is, you defaulted to getting started when your back was up against the wall and you had no other choice—

(05:05): Urgency Is An ADHD Habit

At this point, it may also be a habit, one that you unknowingly rely on in part because you haven’t perhaps yet developed the skills necessary to do it any other way. You may even be telling yourself now, “Well, this is the way I operate best.” And for many ADHD adults who say this, it is because it’s the way they have learned to get things done. You too?

But now you may be questioning whether there might be another way—maybe even a better way—to operate. Because you know that your use of urgency to motivate yourself also comes at a cost, right?

One obvious cost is that it is stressful and causes wear and tear, both mentally and physically. It can also cause you to put on blinders and ignore other things that you need to do because you just need to get this one thing done. And so you focus on that thing, perhaps to the exclusion of your other professional tasks and maybe even your wellbeing and personal responsibilities.

And then when you do finally get those urgent tasks done, they may not be completed in quite the way you had hoped because you just ran out of time. And of course, sometimes you may not be able to get them delivered on time.

(06:23): Cost of Using Urgency For ADHD Motivation

Okay, I know this is going to contradict everything I just said. But very few things are black and white, right? And the gray area when it comes to urgency is that there might be times you choose to do things at the last minute as a strategy to keep yourself from maybe leaning into perfectionism and putting more time and energy into a task than you really want.

(06:49): When Using Urgency Is A Good Strategy For ADHD Adults

Sometimes urgency really isn’t a trap, but it can be a tool that gives your ADHD brain the spark, speed, or constraints that it needs to actually get something done right now.

For example, I’ve committed to doing two posts a week on LinkedIn, but I didn’t want to give it as much time as I had been. So last week I gave myself half an hour to write and post it just before a meeting, and then I was leaving right after that, so I literally didn’t have any other time. I certainly felt the pressure. But I was okay with that, and I think it came out fine. Would it have come out better if I had spent more time? I don’t know. But it was good enough to post on LinkedIn.

Or let’s take the example of writing emails, a typical challenge for ADHD adults.

(07:38):

If you’re prone to overthinking these, maybe you push it till close to the deadline, put it through Grammarly if you need to, and then hit send.

Obviously, you’ll need to discern which tasks you can deliver “good enough” in a short amount of time and which really do require a considerable amount of time and energy.

All right, so far I’ve gone over why your ADHD may contribute to leaning into urgency and when you might choose to use urgency for motivation. But if you’re prone to over-relying on urgency for motivation right now, there are alternatives that I would encourage you to consider so that you just have more options as to how you get your work done—more tools in your toolbox.

First, think of a recent example when you used urgency for whatever reason. And as you listen to the following options, think carefully about what led you to do so, and then consider how you could do it differently with a future task, given similar circumstances.

(08:44): Planning As One Alternative To Urgency For ADHD Adults

One of the first steps you can take is to have a container for all your tasks. Yes, all of your tasks. I know for some of you, you may have had the experience of doing this and feeling overwhelmed by seeing everything at once, so then maybe you decide that it’s not going to work for you. The shift you need to make, though, is one of mindset—that is, to remind yourself when you look at it that you don’t need to do them all at once, which is what your brain may be inadvertently telling you in the moment.

The benefit of this is that you don’t have to worry about forgetting something or trying to hold it in your mind, which isn’t very reliable.

You may need to, though, check in with others—like your partner, boss, or colleagues—to make sure you’ve captured everything you’re responsible for.

(09:34):

The next step is to make sure your calendar is up to date. Again, you may need to check in with others to confirm this.

In my experience working with ADHD adults over the years, these two steps—organizing all of your tasks in a container like Todoist (which is what I use), and getting your calendar up to date—may be within your grasp. In fact, I often hear from clients when starting with them that they’ve already tried this, and it just fell apart.

In most cases, it’s because of one or more reasons. Sometimes, after they’ve started using a task manager and can see all of their tasks, they get overwhelmed, so they stop using it. When they stop using it, it’s not up to date, and they don’t trust it, which becomes just another reason not to use it.

Also, getting tasks in the task manager and then organizing them—that can be the interesting part. But they often have not yet learned how to interact with it effectively, which includes, of course, not only putting in tasks, but also organizing them on a regular basis (weekly), making decisions about when to do them, and then, of course, doing the tasks.

(10:52):

So, because one or more of these pieces may be missing for you and you’re not getting stuff done, your list just keeps on growing exponentially, making the thought of looking at it seem, yes, more daunting.

If this sounds like your story, you can learn how to do this. I’ve included a link to a post, The ADHD Adult’s Guide to the Weekly Review, that outlines how to do these processes with the podcast notes.

Depending on your skill level, you may be able to learn how to do some pieces of this on your own, and for others, you may need the support of someone for whom this falls more within their wheelhouse. It could be a colleague, a friend, a family member, or a professional coach.

One piece is looking ahead far enough to see what’s coming around the bend—whether that’s a week, a month, or a quarter—especially so you can start thinking about planning out larger projects over time.

(11:53):

If this (as a member of our membership group calls it) is one of your lesser-developed strengths—planning and estimating time—I would encourage you again to enlist the help of someone you trust.

So, if you need to clean the basement, is there someone in your household or a trusted friend who could help you create a plan to do this? And likewise, if you have a project to do at work, could you ask a colleague or even a friend or family member to be a thought partner with you to think through the steps that you need to do? Sometimes you really don’t need someone who’s an expert in your content area, but just someone who has the skills required to ask questions, be curious, and help you plan.

Once you have some semblance of a plan, of course, the next part is obviously initiating and following through, which again may be one of your lesser-developed strengths because in part of your ADHD.

(12:57): Initiating Is The Trusted Companion To Planning

First, when it comes to strategies for initiating, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with doing things when the feeling moves you, as long as again you have other tools in your toolbox to be able to initiate when you’re just not feeling it but need to. Because waiting to feel the motivation can be a slippery slope, and one that you can’t rely on when you need to get things done in a certain timeframe.

After all, waiting for motivation may be one of the things that got you into jams in the past when you needed to rely on urgency to get going. But you shouldn’t discount this as a strategy to lean into when you can.

At the same time, you also can’t rely on your plans by themselves to ensure that you’ll get into action when you need to.

As the old Yiddish proverb says, “Man plans, God laughs.” Whether you believe in a higher power or not, I take that to mean that life is just unpredictable.

(13:54):

While we certainly don’t have ultimate control over whether our plans turn out the way we want, there are certain levers you can pull so there is a greater chance that your plan may come to fruition.

As an adult with ADHD, one of the ways you can do this is to put supports in place when, based on your experience, there might be friction in starting and following through. In no particular order, here are some options.

First, check in early and often with the stakeholders—who might be colleagues, your boss, maybe even your partner if it’s a home project, or anyone else that might have a say in what that deliverable needs to look like—so you can be sure that you’re on the right track. Like many adults with ADHD, you may struggle to do this, perhaps because you just want to prove that you’ve got it or don’t want to hear that you need to actually switch gears because you’re on the wrong track.

(14:49):

Once you are sure you know what you need to do, it might also be helpful to protect your time by blocking off time in your calendar. And yes, I know you’ve tried this before, and you may have blown past these more times than you care to count.

If that’s the case for you, the other part of this is to adopt guardrails to help you follow through when you say to yourself or others that you’re going to work on something. Maybe it’s a body double in real life or on Zoom or using an app like Focusmate.

Perhaps you don’t need to work with someone, but could use the lighter touch of having the accountability of checking in with someone as you complete increments of a task or project to keep you on track and making steady progress.

If you want more structure, you may decide to work with an accountability partner or accountability group on a regular basis.

(15:41):

The other critical piece of creating the support you need to initiate and persist is to honor your needs as an ADHD adult.

Remember, you have an interest-based nervous system. This means that it’s going to be easier for you to get started when there’s an element of challenge, novelty, and interest. And yes, urgency is also an element that, again, you should definitely use judiciously. Since you already know how to leverage urgency all too well, the goal now is to diversify your motivators.

So would it help to work in a coffee shop or play music? Can you set a timer and see how many emails you can process in 15 minutes—that is, make it a game? Are you motivated by rewards like getting to watch a show after you finish a certain amount of work?

(16:45):

Well, there’s certainly more that I can say. The last suggestion I’ll make is to create your own DOPA menu, which is a list of activities you can use to boost motivation by stimulating the release of dopamine. These activities range from quick to lengthy, such as listening to music, doing a cardio workout, or visiting with a friend.

I’ll include a link to an example with the show notes on my website.

What I hope you’re taking away from this episode is that relying on urgency makes sense given your ADHD, and it has also likely become a habit—which, as you know, can come at a cost. But you don’t have to abandon it altogether. It’s just to be more discerning about when you use it and when you don’t.

That is, the real shift is choosing when urgency serves you and when planning, supports, and small visible steps will serve you better.

(17:46):

Your task is not to power through with more willpower. Your task now is to create the conditions that make starting and following through easier without over-relying on urgency.

So that’s it for now. And if you want to continue to learn how to work with your ADHD, please do sign up for my biweekly newsletter. You’ll get time-tested ADHD-friendly strategies and resources from me straight to your inbox. You’ll also receive a complimentary guide I created titled Six Common Planning Mistakes Adults with ADHD Make (and How to Avoid Them). You can find the link in the podcast description, or you can go to marlacummins.com/planning to sign up and get the guide.

And until next time, this has been Reimagining Productivity with ADHD, and I’m Marla Cummins, reminding you that ADHD doesn’t need to define you, but how you work with it can shape what’s possible.

ADHD and Using Urgency For Motivation

• Learn how to plan better with my Free Guide: 6 Common Planning Mistakes Adults with ADHD Make.
• Some of my clients swear by this body-doubling app, Focusemate.
• Here is the process you can use for planning each week: The ADHD Adult’s Guide to the Weekly Review.
• Here is an excellent example of an ADHD Dopamenu.
• Todoist is the task manager I use and really like.
• Grammarly is a lifesaver for ADHD adults when details may not be your strong suit.