Managing the Holidays – Thoughts About Thanksgiving
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the U.S. If you are celebrating, you may be looking forward to it as an opportunity to give thanks for all that you are grateful for in your life. At the same time, you may be feeling some trepidation because you are anticipating the potential for discord that can happen when families gather. Notice how you feel about spending the holiday with family and/or friends when you hold either thought, grateful or potential for discord.
Just as it is your choice to hold either thought, it is your choice to set your own boundaries and take care of yourself. How does it feel to be grateful for what you have and be able to take care of yourself? Really, it is a good thing to set boundaries. “Who would you be” with the following thoughts? (Substitute the names of your own family members, thoughts and associated feelings. Please note that the following names and situations are fictional.)
Even if Uncle Alvin always comments on my interesting choices in clothes, that doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t like me. I’m not going to avoid him this year because that just makes me nervous the whole time. Maybe I’ll even offer to take him to my favorite clothing stores… Making a joke can be helpful. He is a good guy, really! Thinking about his good attributes can be helpful, too.
Cousin Theodore isn’t really irritating because he talks my ear off. He really likes me, and likes to talk to me. I will talk to him, and then graciously excuse myself when I have had enough.
My sister, Simone, manages to do something outrageous at every gathering. I’m not going to engage with her and make it my problem; it is her issue. I still love her, though I am not fond of her antics. I’m going off to find more of those stuffed mushrooms…
Then there is my dad, Dave… Our politics are polar opposite! I’m not going to allow him to bait me. When he starts in about some issue, I’ll just say that I am not up for discussing it. I might just bundle up and go for a walk?
My thought for Thanksgiving and the rest of the holidays is that I’m going to have fun. By anticipating what may happen, I can think about how I want to take care of myself, what boundaries I want to set and how grateful I am to be with the “crazy” people whom I love.
Hopefully, they are doing the same when they think of spending time with me. Yes, I am sure that I can irritate my family at times, but only if they let me.
