Who Is In Your Lineup Today?
Last week, I suggested that asking for assistance will help you to move more efficiently toward your goals. As promised, this week I am highlighting what I consider to be often undervalued forms of help. Some of my suggestions may end up surprising you! The type of support you seek, of course, will be dependent on what you need. However, regardless of the type of help you are looking for, the objectives are the same; without a doubt, you want to receive support, motivation and constructive feedback.
As you consider the type of help you might find useful, think also about who you might ask to be on your team. Of course, you only want to ask those people with whom you want to work. More specifically, I would recommend that whomever you do choose will commit to following your agenda. That is, they trust that you know what you want for yourself and will honor your agenda, rather than trying to put forward their own plan. It is also important that whoever helps you respects you. That is, they are appreciative, but not judgmental, of your strengths and challenges. These trusted people can be friends, family members, colleagues or hired professionals.
Having someone watch you ride the bike and cheer you on, as you practice, is an often overlooked type of help called a body double. A body double is someone who sits with you to help you to stay on task by providing whatever support and motivation works for you. Their primary role is to check in with you periodically to make sure that you are progressing. Therefore, they may or may not actually help you with your tasks, depending on how you design the relationship. You may devise the relationship such tha they do their own work while you concentrate on your task.
Rather than watching you ride, in some cases having someone ride another bike alongside you might provide you with the necessary motivation to initiate and follow through on a task. Exercise or study buddies are examples of this type of help. Having someone to run or bike with, for example, can help keep you accountable, as well as make it a more enjoyable activity.
Asking for commentary from a trusted person on how you ride the bike can be useful, too. For example, if you are stuck in a perspective that you are not finding useful, you may find that asking for someone else’s point of view allows you to think about an issue in way that is more productive. The same goes for problem solving in general.
If you are still stuck and are not making sufficient progress, after trying various methods to help yourself, you may decide to hire a professional. While a professional, such as a coach, therapist or organizer, may be able to help you tap into alternatives that will help you move forward, they do not supplant the need for other forms of help. They just become part of your team.
In the end, please remember that you are fully at choice to make whatever decision is in line with your values and supports your goals. While I advise you to ask for help, I also ask you to trust your own intuition, as you are still the expert on what you need and want.
What help are you going to ask for today?
