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What Do You Want To Say “Yes” To?
Being self employed and a single parent of a middle school age daughter, my life is full and can be overwhelming, sometimes.
While I am certainly blessed to be a parent and to have my own business, I still find myself occasionally wanting to do more, and feeling like I “can’t.” There are times, lately, when I struggle with the “need” to say no to other opportunities.
Then I remind myself that I could say “yes,” instead, if I made different choices. I remind myself that every choice has a cost.
Recently, I’ve been feeling isolated in my business. So, I have been thinking of ways to connect with other people professionally.
Like many with ADD – ADHD, I have tons of ideas about how to do this.
What Do You Need To Say “No” To?
I have been thinking carefully about how to proceed.
One thing that has helped me is deciding whether each idea that “pops” into my head will support or conflict with my primary goals of building my business and being available for my daughter.
Many of them, I have decided to say “no” to, because they conflict with being available for my daughter, although they may help build my business.
When I remind myself of my values, I am more at peace with my choices about how I spend my time. With this sense of peace, I can resist the impulse to follow every idea that pops into my head.
I also know that saying “no” and giving myself more “white space” will decrease my sense of overwhelm.
But it is not easy to make these choices when life is so full and there is so much I want to do.
Saying “No” Is Saying “Yes”
You have heard it before. There are only so many hours in the day. We all have to decide where to focus our time and energy. This is a challenge for many with ADD – ADHD.
1. Pull out a weekly calendar and put down all of your non-negotiable fixed appointments, like work.
2. Now, list all your other commitments (family, volunteering, hobbies, exercise, etc.) and the time needed to do them.
3. Place the items in #2 someplace in your calendar. If the commitment doesn’t occur at a fixed time, put it in a slot when you might do it.
4. As you look at your calendar, ask yourself the following questions:
How much “free” time do I have? Is it enough?
How are my “negotiable commitments” contributing to my sense of overwhelm?
Is there something I can change / drop to minimize my sense of overwhelm?
Am I spending my time the way I want?
Am I spending enough time to achieve my primary goals?
ADDed Perspectives Bottom Line
We can’t focus on what is really important to us unless we make time and space for these activities. As we go through different stages of our life, we will have different priorities. If you are like many with ADD – ADHD, you may feel the desire to jump on too many of your ideas, which can lead to feeling overwhelmed by having too much to do.
Deciding on your primary goals and how you need to spend your time to support these goals can help counter this pull that many of us feel.