Everyone experiences times of peaks and valley.
And, of course, we all hope that we can stay on the peak as long as possible. But, inevitably, there are times that we are going to stumble and down we go – to the valley.
I’ve been there, in the valley, for a month. I don’t know when or exactly how I got here. Nor do I know exactly how I will climb out. And I don't like it here! But I know that I will be in a better place, sometime. Hopefully, sooner rather than later.
How do I know I will get to a better place? I only know this based on past experience. The beauty of getting older. However, I only know this intellectually, which is of some comfort.
In the meantime, it feels really dark and scary. One tape, the one in my head says," it will end." But I don’t always feel that.
While in this place, I am less focused and goal oriented. In all realms of my life, I am doing the bare minimum, mostly.
Slow Down and Listen
When I first entered this dark place, I tried to ignore it by watching more shows on Netflix than I care to divulge and mindlessly surfing the internet. I did whatever I could to hide.
And I worked without a plan, even though, just last week I wrote about creating and using tasks lists. As several people commented, it is hard to actually do what is on our list. Don’t I know it!
Soon enough I recognized the irony in writing about one things and, yet doing another.
I woke up.
Then I started reading. Because that is what I do when I want to figure something out. I started reading “When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times” by Pema Chodron, “The E- Myth” by Michael Gerber and Marshall B. Rosenberg’s “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life.”
That is when I realized that what I needed to do was stop, get off the merry-go-round and listen, really listen.
What I heard was fear. I have reached a point in my business when I did not know what to do next. I have way too many ideas, and am not sure which I should choose and execute.
Going Toward The Fear
I am afraid that I am not making the right decisions. And I realized that this fear could immobilize me from making any decisions. If I let it.
So, I decided to go toward the fear, instead of running away from it. Sharing it with others by writing and talking about it. And taking the time to just be with it…
I am starting to feel better, more hopeful, as I am also reaching out for help. Next week I have my first interview with a business coach. And will hire one soon. I am pretty sure that he or she will have more insight than Netflix!
Having a busy brain doesn't always help me figure things out quicker. In fact, it can get in the way. This is one of those times. So, I've given myself permission to not have it all figured out by tomorrow. Feels good.
Do you have a fear that is getting in your way? If you do, where do you go from here?