Some rights reserved by Wesley Fryer
Over the last couple of weeks I have been sharing with you some of my thoughts while I am reading the book, Influencer: The Power To Change Anything by Kerry Patterson et al. It has helped me by reinforcing what I know from my work coaching adults with ADHD.
Let’s look at Joe. (As I would never break my confidentiality with clients, Joe is not a real person, but a composite of my work over the years.)
When Joe called me to find out more about ADD Coaching, I could tell that he was motivated to succeed in his business. I could hear it in his words and his tone.
I could also “hear” the conversation he was having in his head. Maybe you recognize this one, too.
I’ve been living like this for all of my life. I’ve tried countless ways of changing, and even sought out help a few times. So far it has been one dead end after another. Every day is the same old, same old. How could I possibly change my life after all these years?
It makes sense after living so long with untreated ADD, that Joe is afraid that maybe he does not have what it takes to make his life different.
Motivation, as it turns out, was not Joe’s problem! He desperately wanted to make changes in order to have a successful business.
But he did not know how to do this.
The Past Does Not Predict The Future
You have heard the saying, “your past is not a predictor of your future.”
Do you believe it? Maybe not, yet.
Joe didn’t totally buy into this idea, either, when we first started working together. Makes sense! He has:
- a long history of not succeeding.
- people around him who gave him the message that his lack of success was due to lack of will power.
When Joe tried to follow through on his business plans, despite his best efforts, he kept falling back into his old patterns. He was frustrated, to say the least!!
As began learning about ADHD, relief set in when he began to understand the affect ADHD had on his life. He was finally able to say with conviction:
I’m not stupid, lazy or crazy…
He could acknowledge that many of his challenges were related to his ADHD symptoms, such as:
- poor short term memory
- easily overwhelmed by outside stimuli
- overloaded with ideas and trouble deciding which to pursue
- impulsiveness / pull of immediate gratification
He also began to accept that his ADHD is part of who is, but it did not define him.
Once he had a better understanding of his ADHD, he was in a better position to make choices that would help him address these challenges so that he could excel in his personal and professional life.
Time For New Skills
The next step for Joe was learning new skills to address the ADHD symptoms that were getting in his way.
Some examples of the changes he began to initiate are:
- using a task list, calendar and other tools to aid his memory
- setting aside daily and weekly times to review in order to work toward his short term and long term goals
- setting aside more down time to counter the feeling of being overwhelmed
- exercising to become more centered
- stopping and taking a break, rather than acting, when he noticed his heart pounding and mind racing to counter his impulsivity
Success Breed Success
If you are motivated to reach your goal(s), what is getting in your way? Like Joe, could learning and practicing new skills be part of the answer?
If you would like to find out how I may be able to support you, contact me and we can talk about what is possible.