How You Can Build Habits As An ADHD Adult (Part 2 of 2)

Forming habits and routines is a challenge for ADHD adults. Yes, I know you probably already know that all too well. And while there, of course, there are many reasons why this could be true for you, some of them are undoubtedly related to your ADHD. 

If you’re not sure what the relationship is, take a few minutes to go back to Part 1, Why Adopting Habits And Routines Is Hard For ADHD Adults. I think it’s helpful to understand these reasons so that you’re in a better position to know what workarounds may or may not work for you. 

Then come back here.

What Are The Best Habits/ Routines For ADHD Adults

The first step in building routines and habits is deciding what truly deserves this level of consistency in your life right now. Otherwise, you may end up overcorrecting by determining that if habits and routines are good, then everything should be a habit or routine.

Of course, this isn’t possible and a recipe for frustration, for sure. Remember, you’re likely naturally drawn to novelty because of your ADHD. So, while structure no doubt is helpful, you will likely still feel resistance when there is too much. 

Consistency, habits and routines aren’t always the answer.

And there are other ways to accomplish what is important to you without habits and routines. I cover this more in-depth in my podcast episode, How You Can Maintain Consistency With ADHD.

For example, if there is no firm deadline, you may decide to work on a project when your mojo is there, rather than scheduling time to work on it. It’s so much easier to work when it just feels like the right time. While, of course, you can’t always do this, it’s important to remember you have options depending on the task.

Ok, on to habits and routines.

Support, Not Willpower or Feeling Motivated, Is What You Need

Like many ADHD adults, when it comes to adopting habits, you may tell yourself, “I just need to get motivated!” But, when was the last time you felt really motivated to pay your bills or do your finances? Maybe even despite the possible negative consequences.

So when you set a time in your calendar to do them and blow past it, your sense of self-efficacy, belief in your ability to adopt habits, may take a beating. Then you, like many ADHD adults, decide you just need to try harder, exert more willpower. And when that doesn’t work, you might tell yourself, “It must not be that important to me, or maybe I’m just lazy.” 

That’s not true! Well, most of the time. 😉

Again, while there may also be other reasons for your challenges with adopting habits and routines, your ADHD introduces a lot of friction that just makes it hard to create and consistently use them. 

So, instead of doubling down on trying to manufacture more willpower or motivation, a better move is to find the support you need, which might include tools, people, mindsets, systems, environment and health.

True, none of these by themselves will be the answer. You will need to pick and choose what will help you.

1. Start with Something Small and Doable

For ADHD adults, because of the tendency to need immediate gratification, it can be hard to start small and build from there. So you may be tempted to start at a point where you’re not quite ready in terms of being able to persist. 

Yet, I’m sure you’ve read enough about habits to know that starting with something small and focusing on repetition can help you cement the habit or routine, right?

For example, most of my clients lead fairly complicated lives between work, home, personal and community. So one of the processes I often work with many of them on in the beginning is creating an ADHD-friendly process for a weekly review. It’s necessary to do this deep upfront thinking once a week to get a handle on the moving parts.

When I introduce the weekly review, I suggest starting off with a small part of it in the beginning. For example, just doing the calendar part to start. You can look at the weekly review to see what this entails. Some will heed my advice. But inevitably, others will go all in and spend hours doing it. Which sometimes leads to some stalling out because it’s just too onerous. 

For most of us, it usually is a process of trial and error before we figure out what works. 

2. Remember to Remember the Habit and Routine

One of the reasons you may get stuck when trying to adopt routines or habits is that you simply forget about them. And while this may make sense to you when you’re first starting this, it can actually happen at any time, even after you’ve been doing it for a while.  

The other reason is either forgetting or never identifying the reason you would choose to follow through on the habit of routine, especially if it’s not intrinsically interesting in and of itself.  

So, having a strategy for remembering both of these key items is obviously a critical step.

For example, I had a former client, a professor, who would typically skip over his admin time to take care of correspondence, letters of recommendations, etc., even though it was in his calendar. And he really wanted to adopt this habit because he wanted his colleagues to see him as a professional. So he put “be a pro” in his calendar with his admin time. 

And much to his surprise, it worked. Every time he saw it, he remembered the reason he would choose to do it. And he was able to follow through, even though the associated tasks were not intrinsically interesting and he would rather have been working on his research projects.

3. Reduce the Friction In Following Through

The other step you can take is to identify the friction points, as these can be a potential roadblock, for sure. However, you might not know what these are in advance, as you might only become aware of them when you have been unsuccessful with adopting a new habit or routine. Once you identify these, the next step is to mitigate them. 

For example, like some of you, I’m sure, I joined a gym, went for a while, then just stopped going and also wasn’t working out. But I continued paying, thinking that I would eventually go back. When I finally decided that wasn’t going to happen, I reflected on what was getting in the way. 

It just came down to I was tired of schlepping there and wasn’t really enjoying it. But I wanted to continue working out. 

So I decided to try working out at home first thing in the morning. Turns out there is absolutely no friction, other than getting out of bed. 😊 I get up, put on my clothes, pull out the mat and the weights, turn on the video, and do various types of exercises. It works for me.

Though, honestly, there’s never a morning when I’m excited to do it. But I think because it is so easy, it feels good while I’m working out and helps my morning get off to a good start, that I seem drawn to doing it. 

It’s been 5 months as of this writing. Feel free to check in with me to see how it’s going. 

4. Incorporate The Support You Need To Follow Through and Persist

I’ve already noted above that, as you think about designing your habits and routines, it should be less about relying on willpower and motivation and more about having the right support.

And this may look different for you depending on the nature of the routine or habit. Sometimes you may need more support than other times. And you might not find this out until you start experimenting as you see what’s working and what’s not working.

Maybe you need to find the right tool. For example, I’ve had clients who use the app Routinery successfully to design and support them in remembering and following all the steps to completion. Alternatively, you may not need a new tool, but may need to learn how to use your current tools effectively, like your calendar, a task manager or a checklist. 

For other times, you may find you need accountability that might range from using an online body doubling program like FocusMate, working with an accountability partner or joining a structured program like Weight Watchers.

When you need more personalized help, you might decide you need professional support to both help you design and follow through on your habits and routines. That could be, for example, an ADHD coach, health coach, therapist, nutritionist, trainer or some other professional, depending on your goals.

5. Create An Environment To Support Habit and Routine Formation

Your environment can also support or hinder you from following through on a habit or routine. So it is definitely worthwhile to think about how you can leverage these five types of habit triggers to support your efforts. 

Maybe going to the gym, location, can help you work out as you are less likely to go on YouTube while everyone else is exercising around you. And perhaps the stimulation of a cafe can help you do your weekly review. Whereas there might be too many distractions if you stay at home or in the office. 

What time are you at your best and better able to do the cognitive heavy lifting of a routine task like preparing for your weekly team meeting? I know this seems obvious, but block off that time if that is optimal for you.

You know emotional regulation can be a challenge for some adults with ADHD. Maybe for you, too. Think about what happens when you’re in various emotional states. Like many of us, you may have habitual responses, some of which you might want to change. So maybe when you’re feeling intense emotions, you decide to do some deep breathing instead of defaulting to what you may usually do now. 

As I also noted above, perhaps you use the support of other people to help you follow through. It could be as simple as a text check-in, a weekly Zoom meeting or a scheduled walk.

The last trigger you might want to explore that can help you build and persist in using habits and routines is a preceding action. For example, let’s say you want to make sure you take your medicine. If you have a regular habit of brushing your teeth in the morning, you can put the medicine next to your toothbrush.

6. Adopt An Experimental Mindset 

So you can persist in attempting to change your habits, it will also be essential to be both compassionate and patient with yourself, which means allowing for imperfection and focusing on the incremental progress you are making. This is especially true when the progress may feel particularly insignificant. 

To start, focus on starting where you are. For example, with meditation, you will have a greater chance of building the habit by starting with a minute each day rather than trying to meditate for 1/2 an hour each day. You’ll be more likely to increase the amount of time if you are already in the habit of doing the action, right? 

Also, it’s important to acknowledge your successes along the way, despite the challenges. So, if you miss a day, you miss a day. If you beat yourself up, you will be less likely to be motivated to try again the next day. To be able to persist, remind yourself of what you’re doing right along the way.

And just remember it is an experiment, not an exam! You can’t fail. 

So, rather than being judgmental, be curious about how you are doing. And continue refining and course correcting as you go along.

How ADHD Adults Form Habits and Routines: Takeaways

In the end, habits and routines are not powered by willpower or a perfect mood. 

They run on support. 

So give yourself the structure that makes action easier, whether that is a simple checklist, a person who expects you, a tool that remembers for you, or an environment that nudges you in the right direction. Start small, repeat what works, and let a routine carry you on the days your energy is thin. 

This is not a verdict on your character. It is a choice to build the scaffolding you deserve, so the life you want is easier to achieve.

(originally published February 11, 2022, and updated November 6, 2025)