How Do ADHD Symptoms Present in High-Functioning Adults?

ByMarla
High-functioning adult with ADHD shown as a professional woman at her desk taking notes while her boss points to his wristwatch, symbolizing time pressure, decision fatigue, and hidden challenges.

Episode Summary

What does it really mean to be a “high-functioning” adult with ADHD? Outward success can hide the daily toll of rejection sensitivity, communication challenges, decision paralysis, and inconsistent follow-through.

In this episode, I explore how these symptoms often show up behind the scenes and why the hidden load deserves attention, no matter how successful you look on the outside.

What You’ll Learn About High-Functioning ADHD Adults

  • Why common definitions of high-functioning ADHD often miss the reality of daily struggles
  • How rejection sensitivity can impact relationships, even when you look confident on the outside
  • The ways ADHD can complicate both expressing your thoughts and listening in conversations
  • Why time blindness, decision fatigue, and over-commitment are such common challenges
  • How execution inconsistencies, starting, stopping, and managing distractions, drain energy

Transcript

(00:04): What Does High-Functioning ADHD Really Mean?

Have you ever thought, if people only knew how hard I’m working behind the scenes just to keep up? That’s the reality for so many high-functioning adults with ADHD, and it’s exactly what we’re going to talk about today.

You’ve tuned into Reimagining Productivity with ADHD, a podcast for ADHD adults like you who want to learn how to adopt the best strategies, tools, and skills to be able to get your essential work done in a way that works with the way your brain is wired. I’m Marla Cummins, an ADHD and productivity coach, and I’m glad you decided to join me today on this journey toward finding your way to doing what matters most to you without trying to do it like everyone else.

I was recently reading an article from a prominent ADHD organization that defined high-functioning ADHD in this way: when your ADHD does not adversely affect your daily life in a significant way, this is known as high-functioning ADHD adult.

(01:06):

ADHD can have a massive impact on your life. But this doesn’t apply to everyone with ADHD. Many ADHDers are high achievers. They get advanced degrees, build thriving careers, and launch successful businesses. However, they’re likely working twice as hard as their peers to achieve it due to their often undiagnosed ADHD.

This definition of high-functioning primarily focuses on the appearances of professional success. In the article, the examples of high-functioning ADHDers include celebrities and elite performers: an Olympic athlete, a singer, or a professional dancer.

In other places where this topic of high-functioning ADHD adults comes up, you’ll often see mention of lawyers, academics, or entrepreneurs. The common thread is a narrow focus on outward achievement in prestigious or high-profile fields, as if the appearance of professional success alone defines what it means to be high functioning.

(02:14):

But professional success is only one piece of the story, right? Many adults with ADHD who appear high functioning aren’t Olympic medalists or professional performers. They’re people who, in different ways, manage to keep parts of life looking pretty well together while privately carrying a much heavier load than anyone realizes.

I think the definition that this article has fails on two counts. First, you can be a high-functioning adult with ADHD when, on the outside, you show elements of what society deems as success. That might be a career, education, community involvement, relationships, family, or simply the appearance that you’re managing adult responsibilities pretty well. From the outside, people see someone who seems capable and together, even if the reality feels very different inside.

The second way this definition fails, I think, is that it greatly underestimates the very significant ways in which ADHD adversely affects daily living even for high-functioning adults.

(03:29): How Does Rejection Sensitivity Affect Adults with ADHD?

Yes, the article lists common ADHD challenges, but then it essentially dismisses them as not significant. I beg to differ. Invalidating the daily struggles of high-functioning adults overlooks just how much ADHD can adversely affect their lives.

For many adults with ADHD who look high functioning, the daily impact is real and substantial — even if it doesn’t show up in a resume line or a professional title.

One place that is often overlooked where ADHD can show up for high-functioning adults is in rejection sensitivity. That heightened awareness and emotional response to perceived criticism, judgment, or exclusion. It’s not an overreaction; it’s just a reaction.

Rejection sensitivity doesn’t always show up in the same place for everyone. For me, it rarely shows up in my professional life. Even occasional criticism of my coaching just feels like feedback. I can take it in and course correct. Criticism of my blog writing or podcast? Well, I know some people will connect and others won’t, and I’m okay with that.

(04:40):

Where I do notice it more is in social and relational situations. Recently, I had three text exchanges about making plans. One person just replied, “Sure,” then didn’t follow up until days later to my reply. Another said, “That sounds fantastic! Let me check my calendar tomorrow,” and included a heart, which felt validating and clear.

And the third said, “That would be great. I’ll be out of town. I’ll check back with you when I’m back!!!!” There were so many exclamation marks I wondered if her phone no longer had punctuation marks.

Anyway, my reactions: the first left me feeling dismissed, the second felt good, like genuine excitement, and the third left me doubting whether she actually meant it. Nothing dramatic had happened on the outside, but inside my brain was dissecting every word.

You might be thinking, “But Marla, you’re a coach. Don’t you know how to navigate this better?” And the answer is yes. I can usually narrate what’s happening in the moment and ask myself questions like, What else could this mean? What are other possible explanations?

But that insight doesn’t make the sting go away. After that short “Sure,” I still found myself ruminating for days.

(05:46):

So where does rejection sensitivity show up for you? Maybe it’s in friendships where small signals feel like big verdicts. Or in family life, where a sigh or a pause can land like criticism. Or maybe it’s at work, where perceived disapproval pushes you to overcompensate or play small.

And here’s the paradox. From the outside, you may look confident, even socially smooth. But inside, you may feel fragile, misunderstood, or on the verge of being left out. That mismatch — between the appearance of ease and the reality of constant vigilance — is the essence of rejection sensitivity in high-functioning adults with ADHD.

And if you’d like to go deeper into strategies for navigating this, check out my episode Can Adults with ADHD Really Become Less Susceptible to Feeling Rejected? You’ll find the link in the show notes on my website.

(06:55): Why Is Communication So Challenging for ADHD Adults?

For many high-functioning adults with ADHD, communication is also really complicated. And it’s not just about getting the words out — it’s about how you listen, process, and respond. With ADHD, all these can feel challenging.

Sometimes you walk away from a conversation feeling like you didn’t say what you meant, or you didn’t really hear what was said to you.

On the expression side, there are two common patterns. Sometimes you don’t know exactly what you want to say. You can see the big picture in your head, but boiling it down into clear, succinct points feels elusive.

Other times, you have the gestalt — the overall sense of what you want to say — but it just doesn’t come out in a linear or complete way. You share part of the thought, or it comes out jumbled, and the other person just doesn’t get the full picture you intended.

(08:01):

Then there’s the listening side. You want to stay tuned in, but your mind drifts — not always because of external distractions, but sometimes because of your own thoughts. Other times, you may be holding onto what you want to say while also trying to follow someone else, and it can feel like juggling glass balls.

So you may blurt out what you want to say because you’re afraid of forgetting it. Other times, you may miss the thread entirely and nod along, hoping no one notices.

And layered over all of this is the constant self-monitoring: Am I rambling? Do I sound scattered? Do I seem interested enough? That invisible work makes communicating exhausting.

The hidden costs might be regret after blurting out, shame after zoning out, or fear that distraction looks like not caring. And then the drain of trying to course correct in the moment.

(09:08):

And the paradox here, when it comes to communication, is that the same brain that sometimes struggles to listen or express ideas clearly is also the one that gives you, well, maybe superpowers. You can make surprising leaps, connect dots no one else sees, bring fresh perspectives, think on your feet, and bring creativity into conversations.

Your challenge isn’t about intellectual ability; it’s about your brain not cooperating with the conversation in the moment, so you can say what you want and listen without interruption from either internal or external distractions.

And if communication is a challenge, you can also check out my episode Trouble Saying What You Want Because of Your ADHD. Again, you’ll find the link in the show notes on my website.

(10:20): How Do ADHD Adults Struggle with Time and Planning?

The third area where high-functioning ADHD adults struggle is with the self-management skills of time and planning. From the outside, you might look busy, capable, and maybe even organized. But on the inside, it can feel like your brain is running in circles, just trying to get the day moving.

One of the most complex pieces is decision-making. Even small choices can feel like brick walls. What should I start with? Which project should I commit to? Is this worth my time? By the time you’ve gone back and forth, the morning’s already gone. Decision fatigue builds before you’ve even begun.

Then there’s time itself. When you’re deciding what to work on, you also have to guess how long it will take. And estimating time for adults with ADHD can feel impossible. So your default may be to create a long list of everything you think has to get done without really considering whether there’s enough time to do it.

And since you can’t tell how long tasks will take, the impulse is just to plow ahead and hope. But as one of my former clients used to say, hope is not a strategy.

(11:19):

The result, though, is that you may overcommit, while still knowing in the back of your mind that it probably won’t all happen. And when you do start, you may not even be sure you’re focusing on the right thing. So while working on one task, you’re distracted by the nagging thought that maybe something else should be a priority.

And here’s the paradox. Once you zero in on a task without second-guessing yourself, you might be able to hyperfocus and juggle complex ideas with ease. But that ability doesn’t always show up in the decision-making process or when the clock says it’s time.

And if you’d like to learn more about how to use your time, check out my episode How to Make Decisions About How to Use Your Time. You’ll find the link again in the show notes on my website.

(12:21): How Do ADHD Distractions Affect Execution?

And even after you’ve made a decision and mapped your time, perhaps there’s still the most challenging part: execution. Actually starting, staying with, and finishing tasks while keeping distractions in check.

It can feel like trying to swim out in the ocean, and the waves just keep on knocking you down. Remember, as an adult with ADHD, you have an interest-based nervous system. If the task isn’t engaging, your brain resists. Other times, the friction arises when you’re not sure how to do it, or it just feels too big and undefined. So you circle it, procrastinate, or maybe even avoid it altogether until urgency finally forces your hand. And maybe right now, urgency is your primary motivator.

(13:34):

But because ADHD brains pay attention to everything, distractions can also derail you at any stage. A notification, a random thought, a messy desk — any of these can pull you off track. Sometimes when I’m writing, I can really zero in. Other times, not so much.

Like today, I found myself tacking between texting, glancing at LinkedIn, wondering if I should finally buy those clothes I need, calculating when to get tickets for an upcoming show, and following the news. While I kept working, these small shifts left me scattered, less productive for sure. And yes, I knew what was happening in the moment, so I kept trying to pull myself back and also accept that some days are just like this.

And one of the biggest distractions for ADHD adults? Emotions. It might be frustration when the task feels too hard, or anxiety about whether you’re doing the right thing. Then again, it might be shame about what’s still left undone. And these emotional detours can be just as powerful as external interruptions — and harder to recover from.

(14:39):

Then again, when you do get engaged, stopping can be its own hurdle. You tell yourself, “I’ll just finish this one last thing, and then I’ll stop.” Right. Letting go and shifting gears often feels as heavy as starting.

And here’s the paradox when it comes to execution: sometimes you’re on fire, producing in a burst of focus. Other times, all you have left are embers. Because inconsistency is, well, the hallmark of ADHD. And that hidden cost is the daily energy it takes to bridge the gap between trying to find the spark and getting to the finish line.

So if execution is your challenge, you can check out my episode 8 Strategies for Better Execution with ADHD. You’ll find the link in the show notes on my website.

(15:42):

The last area that I want to point out is the resulting burnout that occurs because of these day-to-day challenges. And this burnout can leave you more scattered and disorganized, in part because of the lack of self-care, which exacerbates your ADHD challenges, including those related to organization.

So you may end up not eating well or enough, not exercising, not sleeping — all of which, of course, could help you counter and mitigate some of your ADHD challenges. But instead, you end up feeling like you’re living in chaos or just on the edge.

(16:52): What Resources Can Support Adults with ADHD?

So what’s the antidote to all of this? First, you don’t need to fix anything, but you do need to access the right resources to both learn about and then navigate ways to work with what you have. This may include professional and non-professional support, which can make a huge difference, whether that’s coaching, therapy, or support groups.

Safe spaces where you feel like you don’t have to put on a mask are especially valuable. One example is my ADDed Perspectives Club, where we meet virtually every Thursday for our mastermind group. And if you’re interested in checking this out, you can find more on my website at marlacummins.com.

Resources also include learning how to identify and use the right tools. And then again, you might turn to other people to help you with accountability and perhaps body doubling.

Support for you might look like getting help with your sleep, eating properly, or moving your body.

And the last resource is mindfulness practices to help you slow down, which might include self-compassion or meditation.

(17:59):

What resources do you need right now to help you with some of your challenges so that what you feel internally is more aligned, perhaps, with what people see on the outside?

What I hope you’re taking away from this episode is that just because you may look successful on the outside, that doesn’t erase the very real toll ADHD may be taking behind the scenes. Professional success, relationships, community involvement — all of these can coexist with a constant undercurrent of effort, fatigue, and self-doubt that others just may not see.

And that hidden load deserves attention. Not because you need to be fixed, but because you deserve support. ADHD affects daily life in ways that are every bit as significant as what shows up on your resume.

As you reflect on today’s episode, I encourage you to think about what resources might help you lighten that load for you right now.

That’s it for now. If this resonated with you and you want to hear more strategies for working with your ADHD, please follow the podcast so you don’t miss future episodes. And yeah, hit the like button, and if you know someone else who might also benefit, share this with them. I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.

Until next time, this has been Reimagining Productivity with ADHD. I’m Marla Cummins, reminding you that ADHD doesn’t define you, but how you work with it can shape what’s possible.

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