ADHD and Slow Processing: What Helps in the Moment

Do you have moments when, in a meeting, a one-on-one conversation, or a social or business gathering, or when you feel like you’re not processing the information as quickly as you would like?

For example, a common challenge I hear from many Adults with ADHD I work with is, “When I’m in the middle of a conversation or meeting, I just can not seem to put it all together and figure out how to contribute. Often, I don’t think of what I want to say until after it is over. I feel so stupid!”

If you have similar thoughts, you might then spiral into shame. And think you are just not that intelligent. You may then become distracted by these thoughts and feelings. This distraction can make it even harder to focus and attend to what you want, and further impair your ability to process information. 

It’s frustrating and sometimes painful to feel like you’re always a step behind, especially when the stakes are high. But here’s the thing: slow processing isn’t about intelligence.

What Is Processing Speed?

When you think of processing speed, you are likely thinking of how fast you can respond. 

While that is certainly one aspect, the measure of processing speed also includes how accurately and consistently you can:

• Recognize the information, whether spoken or written, that you need to process.
• Then, understand the information.
• Decide how you want to respond.
• Take whatever action you think is appropriate.

And when you’re trying to do this in real-time, the demand can feel overwhelming due to the pace, pressure, and unpredictability of the setting.

If you struggle with one or more parts of this process, your ADHD may be playing a role. Let’s take a closer look.

How ADHD Affects Processing Speed?

While slow processing speed is common among adults with ADHD, those with inattentive ADHD often experience more noticeable challenges with processing speed. This can be especially true in fast-moving or high-pressure environments, such as group meetings or fast-paced conversations.

Whatever type of ADHD you have, executive functioning challenges can affect how you process information. Dr. Thomas Brown’s model outlines six key areas of executive functioning that often show up as challenges in ADHD. Several of those areas directly affect how quickly and effectively you can process information.

You can see how multiple areas, such as effort, emotion, and memory, can slow down your ability to take in and respond to information in real-time.

Sustaining the effort to stay engaged can be hard, especially when the interaction isn’t stimulating enough for your brain. That sluggish feeling isn’t because you don’t care. It’s just that the conversation isn’t intrinsically interesting. Thanks, ADHD brain. I bet you know that feeling of boredom all too well.

Another factor is your challenges with emotional regulation. When something in the conversation frustrates or overwhelms you, your brain may react quickly. But not helpfully. Then it becomes more challenging to assess what you’re hearing and determine how you want to respond.

Another reason you may process information slowly is because of your challenges with working memory capacity. As a result, before you can respond, you may forget the information you just heard. 

How to Process Better in One-on-One Conversations

One-on-one conversations can be less chaotic than group meetings, but they come with their own kind of pressure. There’s no option to fade into the background. You have to stay engaged, and that’s not always easy. But I hope you have times and places where you don’t have to worry about how you speak, because you’re with your peeps.

So what do you do when you need to be on your game and present yourself effectively, whether at work or a networking event?

That’s when it can be especially hard to keep up. So, you may either freeze, not knowing what to say, or come out with a torrent of words and talk in circles without closing the loop until you see their eyes glaze over. If this sounds familiar, it’s likely because your ADHD brain is running a mile a minute, without a “manager” to say, “Whoa, Bessie.”

For example, you might start explaining an idea, then loop back to your original point, add two tangents, and forget where you began. Or you might launch into a rapid-fire explanation without pausing to see if the other person is following. These patterns are common, and they don’t mean you’re bad at communicating. It just means your brain might need a little more structure in the moment.

Here are a few things you can try. 

Interrupt gently to slow the pace. Say something like, “Hey, do you know who’s going to be working on that study?” This can help you get your bearings and stay on track.

Use the ‘three sentences and check-in’ approach. Try speaking in short bursts, no more than three sentences, then check in with something like, “What do you think of that?” or “Does that make sense?”

Normalize note-taking. Even in casual conversations, jot down notes if it helps you stay with the conversation.

Pause when you need to process. Say, “That’s interesting. Give me a second, I’m still processing that.” You may feel pressure to respond fast, but slower, clearer communication is more effective.

What might help you in your next focused conversation with someone?

How to Pay Attention in Meetings With ADHD?

In meetings, it can feel like you’re watching a game of ping pong. Even when you try to follow and take notes, the pace may be too fast to process what’s said, decide how you want to contribute, and speak up before the moment passes.

So, you may alternate between staying quiet because you don’t know what to say, or blurting something out just to contribute and avoid looking lost, and then later regret it. Especially if it wasn’t a well-thought-out comment. Sound familiar?

Meetings with more than one person are often hard for ADHD adults. Here are a few tips to make them easier.

Arrive ready to take in information. Review the agenda, notes from previous related meetings, and any other associated documents. That way, your brain isn’t trying to relearn old material while keeping up with the new.

Take notes to stay focused and process later. Notes act like a second brain, making it easier to revisit the discussion later. To remain engaged during the meeting, try using concise keywords and symbols rather than complete sentences. For example, use an asterisk for a to-do or a question mark for a follow-up.

And one more thing: try to process your notes within 24 hours. That way, you’ll still remember what those shorthand scribbles actually mean, and you can move important information to where it belongs, like your calendar, task list, or project tracker.

Interrupt graciously and ask clarifying questions. Doing this can help you stay engaged and avoid falling further behind. You could say, “Hey Pete, that was a lot of information. Are you saying…” and reflect what you heard.

Ask for repetition if needed. If you miss something, jot down enough of a note to follow up later—or, if you feel comfortable, say, “Hey Pete, I’m not sure I got that quite right. Can you repeat that?”

Even small changes like these can make meetings feel less like a firehose and more like something you can stay present for.

How to Navigate Networking Events With ADHD

Professional events without a set agenda can bring their own kind of pressure. However, the pressure to perform well is still very real. These may include networking events, work retreats, or even socials. 

I’ve worked with many clients who find events like these off-putting because it can feel like a performance. Where they’re expected to make an impression, but there’s no real script, no clear agenda. And that makes it harder to prepare in a way that feels grounding.

The challenge of these surface-level conversations and the need to present yourself effectively can be daunting. 

As a result, you may freeze, wondering, “What do I say?” Here are a few ways to feel more grounded and present. 

Prepare in advance. Even at professional events, small talk often weaves between work and life. And when your ADHD brain freezes in the moment, it helps to have a few things you can pull on the fly, like something you’ve read, watched, or worked on recently. That way, you’re not scrambling when the conversation shifts unexpectedly.

Anchor yourself with support. If you can, attend with a colleague or friend who gets you, and let them know this kind of event can be tough for your ADHD brain. Ask if they’d be willing to check in with you periodically. And if you’re flying solo, consider texting a trusted person during a break to help reset and feel grounded.

Take breaks to reset your brain. If you start to feel overwhelmed, step away, even briefly. ADHD can make emotional regulation and cognitive overload more intense, which makes real-time processing harder. A short break can help you calm your nervous system and re-engage more clearly.

Engage in 1-1 conversations. Being present and talking to one person may be easier than engaging in a group conversation, which can feel like a game of pinball.

Try to be present, not perfect. It’s not about performing or proving yourself. Even in professional settings, it’s still about ‘know, like, and trust.’ That starts by being present and genuinely interested, not perfect.

You don’t have to master the room. You just need a few ways to feel steady enough to show up as yourself.

How To Handle Social Gatherings With ADHD

The last type of real-time setting where slow processing can trip you up is social gatherings. 

Sometimes we choose our settings. Other times, we say yes to something less-than-ideal, like a distant cousin’s wedding or a community event. Either way, knowing what helps can make those moments easier to manage.

But when you have ADHD, social environments can overload your brain before you even realize it. The noise, the pace, the way conversations jump. It’s hard to keep up even when you’re trying to enjoy yourself.

By the time you process it, the group will have already moved on. You jump in late or lose your place mid-story, and suddenly feel exposed or out of sync. It’s disorienting. One moment you’re tracking, the next, you’re just lost.

If they’re not strangers, but not your people, a little prep can go a long way.

Of course, if you’re with your besties, feel free to toss all of these suggestions out the window. These are your people. They’re not keeping score.

Prepare in advance. In social settings, you don’t need polished talking points. But when your brain freezes, having a few familiar topics in your back pocket, like a show you’ve loved lately or a funny moment from your week, can make it easier to get unstuck and reconnect with the flow.

Pair with one person or small cluster: When conversations swirl in every direction, focusing on just one person or a small group can help you avoid sensory overload and feel more grounded. Even at a loud party or big dinner, connecting with the person next to you may be the gentlest way in.

Ask about what interests you. If small talk wears you out, try shifting the focus with a genuine question about something you’re curious about. It’s not about avoiding conversation. It’s about steering it in a direction where your brain can actually light up.

Choose your social settings. And when you can choose, you might opt for something with lower pressure, like a game night, a small dinner, or a movie.

Even a little planning can help you show up in ways that feel more like you.

Key Tips for ADHD and Processing Speed

If processing in real time is hard for you, it doesn’t mean you’re not smart. And it doesn’t mean you’re failing. 

It simply means your brain might need a little extra support, such as tools, prompts, or structures you can lean on in the moment.

Other times, it’s knowing that you don’t have to say everything perfectly right away. There are almost always opportunities to follow up later to clarify, add to, or express what you really meant.

And finally, permit yourself, when possible, to choose the environments that help you feel most present and steady. That’s not avoidance. It’s a valid strategy.

Take Action on ADHD Processing Speed

Learning how to process effectively in different settings will take some trial and error. But you can do it. 

Where does your challenge with processing feel the hardest? You don’t have to master every situation. Just pick one place to start. Then choose one tip and try it out in that context. 

It’s okay if it takes time. You’re allowed to take small steps and still make progress.

Originally posted on February 7, 2023, this post was extensively updated on July 23, 2025, to reflect new strategies and research on ADHD and slow processing speed.