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ADHD and Tips for Managing Holiday Stress

ByMarla Cummins ADHD Communication, Blog

  Whether you celebrate an upcoming winter holiday or not you will likely feel their impact as you go about your professional and personal business. And, while the holiday season may look different for everyone, it is likely you will share some of the same challenges with other adults with ADHD, such as: You may have different challenges, I’m sure. But you get it. It is a time of year that can be more difficult than other times in terms of managing your ADHD symptoms. Being aware of this is the first step in addressing these challenges. The next step is deciding how to navigate the various contexts in which you will find yourself in the upcoming months. Ready? Work and the Holidays The one…

ADHD and Communication 101 – Listening
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ADHD and Communication 101 – Listening

ByMarla Cummins ADHD Communication, Blog

It might seem listening should be easy. After all it seems like a pretty passive activity, right? But in reality fully processing and understanding what somebody is saying to you isn’t always easy, especially for Adults with ADHD. Sometimes it is… hard… really hard. Sure, if you don’t care much about what the person is saying, you could get away with, “Uh ah, right, yes, sure…” And be on your way. But what about those times when you do care and/or you need to remember and use the information the person is providing? You need to be able to actively listen. If you struggle with being able to do this now, you can strengthen this muscle so you can flex it when you want. ADHD…

Conversations & ADHD Part 2: Is Your Anger In The Driver’s Seat?
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Conversations & ADHD Part 2: Is Your Anger In The Driver’s Seat?

ByMarla Cummins ADHD Communication, Blog

  In Conversations & ADHD Part 1: Do They Feel Like Battlefields?, I wrote about conversations that, while they may feel like they are full of conflict, may in fact just be exchanges of different ideas. But how about when there is genuine conflict between you and others? How do you maximize the chances of constructively engaging with them while: It is not easy for most people to stay engaged in a conversation while also trying to meet the above objectives when there is conflict. And for adults with ADHD, in part because of the reasons I outlined in Part 1, it can be especially hard. Do you want to “build your muscle” so you can better handle interactions where there is conflict? Anger Ahead…

Conversations & ADHD Part 1: Do They Feel Like Battlefields?
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Conversations & ADHD Part 1: Do They Feel Like Battlefields?

ByMarla Cummins ADHD Communication, Blog

Can you think of a recent time when you were uncomfortable initiating a conversation or bringing up a subject because you thought there might be some sort disagreement? How did you feel and what did you do? For most people the answer is, “Well, sure, they are not my favorite kind of conversations, and sometimes I try to avoid them. But they are just part of life…” But for adults with ADHD the answer may be more along the lines of: “I try to avoid those at all costs because I just don’t handle conversations where there are a lot of disagreements very well. Sometimes I just don’t know what to say because the conversation seems like a game of ping-pong. And the ball just…

Are You An Adult With ADHD And Feeling Isolated?
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Are You An Adult With ADHD And Feeling Isolated?

ByMarla Cummins ADHD Communication, Blog

  Of course, feeling like you are the only one that ­­_________ (fill in the blank) can also leave you feeling misunderstood and alone. As an adult with ADHD you may sometimes feel this way about having ADHD. If you feel this way, you know when you are connected to others (friends, family, colleagues and acquaintances) who “get and accept you,” you just feel better, right? But have you thought about the importance of your connections in being able to reach your potential, your goals and, ultimately, your dreams? Are you connected to people the way you want? The Importance of Positive Connections We know a primary reason for maintaining positive connections is its importance to our overall well-being. We need family and friends to…

ADHD and Friendships: Are You Tending To Yours?
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ADHD and Friendships: Are You Tending To Yours?

ByMarla Cummins ADHD Communication, Blog

We all know that you need to tend to your garden, if you want your plants to thrive. You need to water, weed, remove some if they are crowded, etc. And it is no different with relationships. If you want to have thriving, healthy relationships, you need to be mindful and tend to those that are important to you. You already know this. And maybe this is what you want. But you may not have the quality or quantity of relationships that you want. In all likelihood your ADHD symptoms may be part of your challenge in cultivating connections. You can change this. ADHD and Connections Dr. Edward Hallowell notes that for adults with ADHD connections with others are critical to our well being. It…

ADHD and Communicating: Finding the Right Words…
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ADHD and Communicating: Finding the Right Words…

ByMarla Cummins ADHD Communication, Blog

  For adults with ADHD communicating can be a veritable landmine at times. Sound familiar? You are not alone. These are common communication challenges when you have ADHD. Of course, some of the challenges may be due to differences in communication styles or the difficulties the other person has in communicating. And some challenges may be due to your ADHD symptoms. That is the good news, really!  After all, it is easier to focus on an area where you have the most control, yourself. This is the focus of this article. Once you understand how your ADHD may be impacting your ability to communicate effectively you can create an action plan to help you communicate better Retrieval For adults with ADHD the filing system for…

ADD and Anger: Is It Getting In Your Way?
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ADD and Anger: Is It Getting In Your Way?

ByMarla Cummins ADHD Communication, ADHD Symptoms & Diagnosis, ADHD Tools & Strategies, Blog

One of the hallmark symptoms of ADD is the struggle with managing emotions, such as anger. If you answer yes to the questions below, your anger may be getting in your way. Do you tend to wear your emotions on your sleeve, but would rather not? Do you go from 0-100 mph in a split second and wonder how you got there so fast? Do you become frustrated with others easily, and then regret it later? You are not alone What Is The Problem? Dr. Russell Barkley, a foremost authority on ADD and author of the book Taking Charge of Adult ADHD, notes the following: “It is not that the emotions they experience are inappropriate, but that those with ADHD are more likely to publicly…

Making the Right Choices: Are You Clear in Your Heart and Your Head?
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Making the Right Choices: Are You Clear in Your Heart and Your Head?

ByMarla Cummins ADHD Communication, ADHD Symptoms & Diagnosis, Blog

This past week, I was given some unsolicited parenting advice from someone that I do not know well. Now you may think that this post is going to be about my response to this person. And in years past that may have been the case. Not this time… What surprised and delighted me was that I didn’t respond. Rather, I just smiled and went on my way to deal with my daughter. Now I am not being smug about this. It is not that I don’t relish opportunities to improve my parenting. It is not that I don’t think other people have valuable advice. It just happens that in this particular case, I knew in my heart and in my head what was best for…

Do You Know How to Manage Your Impulsiveness…and Actually Get What You Want?
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Do You Know How to Manage Your Impulsiveness…and Actually Get What You Want?

ByMarla Cummins ADHD Communication, ADHD Organization, ADHD Symptoms & Diagnosis, Blog

  Usually I reserve book recommendations for the recommendation section. But William Ury’s  book, The Power of a Positive No : How to Say No and Still Get to Yes, is potentially so transformative that I wanted to share with you a bit of what I distilled after reading it and using the suggested strategies. The step by step process he sets out can help you set your boundaries (say NO)  based on your values and needs, while still retaining  your relationships. If you have ADD and impulsiveness is a challenge for you, then you likely have experienced the effects of communicating  in a way that not only damages your relationships, but does not get you what you want. You may know what you want…