I Forgot. Whenever I catch myself saying, “I forgot,” then I remember. I remember that I shouldn’t rely on my brain to retain information and expect that I will be able to access it at precisely the moment I need it. Over time I have come to accept this. And I have worked hard to find a work around for my particular wiring. It is not about making excuses – it is about accepting what is and finding solutions. Here is what is on my mind as I write this:
According Sir Francis Bacon, “knowledge is power.” A few weeks ago I wrote about a free web based financial tool, Mint.com. It truly is an amazing tool in that it gives you tons of information. Using this tool you can view all of your financial accounts in one location. And they are updated instantaneously when you log into the site! The potential impact of this tool can be seen in the comment below. changed my life (in that it shows me how i spend badly, not that i actually changed my spending). BUT I DO LOVE IT! As this comment succinctly illustrates, information can only empower you to the extent that you use it; the reader did not use the information to make any changes….
It is almost the New Year. For some, that means it is time to establish New Year’s Resolutions, like losing weight getting out of debt getting fit spending more time with family reducing stress going to school getting a new job To be honest, New Years Resolutions do not work for me. I find it easier to allow my commitments to my personal growth to happen in a more organic fashion. That is, I may have a lot of ideas percolating, and then one day I make a decision, a resolution. Then I make a plan. This works for me.
Making decisions in the moment can be challenging for many with ADD. For some types of decisions you may only need a few moments to assess a situation, and determine what would work best for you. How often do you make decisions too quickly? What if you took extra breath?
A Question That Helps Answering your “what if” questions could help you envision what you will do in different contexts or it could serve to immobilize you. As I was deciding to leave the “comfort” of a full time job with benefits to start my own business, I asked an endless series of what ifs. What if I did not earn enough to support us? What if I did not save enough for retirement? What if I could not find affordable health insurance? What if starting my own business introduced too much uncertainly into my daughter’s life? What if I failed? What if I didn’t enjoy it?
What if… you gave yourself the gift of self-acceptance? What would you do with it? How do you use your energy? Would you be able to accept it graciously or would you scoff at the mere thought of it? “That is certainly not a gift for me!” If you have ADD, it may take a long time to even entertain the thought that the core of who you are is really worthy of acceptance. You may have a history of not reaching what you think is your potential. Still, you (we) are still worthy… I believe that most people are doing the best they can. In spite of “mishaps,” most people are well intentioned. What if you really believed that about yourself, not just “other” …
Have you ever had this conversation with yourself?! The wind up… I’ll just spend a few minutes relaxing and look at the news and Facebook. Then I’ll get back to what I planned to do. 10 minutes later… I really want to read this article and then it is time to get off the computer. 30 minutes later… I should really get off. Oh, just a few more minutes… 1 hour later… Oh, sh*t!! I can’t believe I spent that much time. I really want to finish writing that report. 2 hours later… Oh, well, I guess I’ll get to it tomorrow. No, really, I have not been in your head, lately. I really was not eaves dropping on the conversation that you had between…
Like a fire that grows beyond what you need to give you warmth and light, anger can grow beyond its ability to serve you. You can choose to use it or extinguish it. For some with ADD, anger can get in your way. Don’t let anger get in your way! Anger Is Useful Use it first! To be human means to feel anger at injustices and wrongdoing. Anger, the feeling, is not bad or good. It just is… an emotion. An emotion that can give you information, if you choose to listen.
Too Many Ideas? Too many ideas are counterproductive when you cannot decide which ones to execute, and you become overwhelmed and come to a dead stop. Too many ideas are counterproductive when you follow all of them, and do not execute any of them to your satisfaction. Too many ideas are counterproductive when you act on them, and forsake what you say is important to you. Too many ideas are counterproductive when the ball of thread called your life is unraveling, and you can’t remember why you started these endeavors. Sometimes it feels like a fire hose let loose! The ideas keep spraying, pushing you back into a corner, until you want to yell, “help!” The conundrum comes in deciding which to implement.
Does it ever seem like when you are trying to make progress it is two steps forward and one step back? When you have ADD there is a tendency to think in black and white… it is working or it is not working. Can you think about progress in another way? Experiment Progress is not linear! You have to experiment to see what works and what does not work. It could be that you have not found the strategy that works for you, yet. I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. – Thomas A. Edison Remember Alternatively, you found the right strategy, but “forgot” to do what you know works for you. Does this sound familiar? If this is the…